Saturday, January 31, 2009

More of the same...

I sit here with my family running around my house...playing Wii, singing, showering. Just being. I have really been struggling just taking care of day to day stuff. i can't seem to get it all done. Mom has several appts a week, as does Samantha, plus girls to preschool, working 2 days, shopping for food, keeping up house...I just don't feel like I am doing anything 100% and that really frustrates me. I think everyone else seems to have it way more together than I do. I can't get motivated when I am home because I really want to just sit and not do anything. but I need to do things, because well, they tend to pile up if I don't do them. I don't want Daniel to feel like he has to do them after working all day to provide. I make the kids do chores, but I still have things to do. I want to lose weight, be healthy, but that requires even more time and energy that I dont' have. I have to remind myself, that God has a bigger plan for me that I can not see and just to be patient. hmm, well, i need to make our late lunch(we all at ea late breakfast and that works just fine because with Church tonight, we will eat a late dinner.)

Friday, January 16, 2009

busy and sick

Those are the 2 words that I feel really show how I have been since my last post. I sit here with Dawson playing GH on Wii, Logan playing GH on DS, Daniel watching them play(wishing they would ask him to play), Gabi is playing dress up, Piper is sleeping on my bed and Sammy is folding clothes to earn her phone back a few days early...You know God shows me grace and mercy daily and I felt she needed some today! It is noce to listen to them all carry on a conversation with each other and just be.
It has been a hard week. It started off thinking mom had a stroke and not knowing how to help her. Now we found out she did NOT have a stroke and her brain looks great on the MRI. She does however have a major sinus infection and started on meds today. They think the falling and dizziness is from the infection and the slurred speech is from the minor concusion she got last week with her 3 falls in 12 hours. So, Please pray for her to continue to recover and get back to her 'old' self soon.
I have been sick for a couple days. I thought I was just really tired Wed, but, yesterday at BSF, I got really sick and came home and could do nothing. I don't like not being able to take care of my family and do my jobs. I was crying by nights end, even though my husband was NOT up set at all about the 2 trips he had to make to the store to get dinner items and then again to get pull ups for Piper at bedtime. I cried and yelled about feeling usless and he told me to quit, he was not mad and i said ok and went to bed. He made yummy veggie soup and then I drank tea and watched mindless tv for a while until I fell asleep.
Today I got the girls to preschool and then came home and read, did wash~in the process finding out that my washer quit on me!!!!~, did a load of dishes, napped, got up, ate, showered and got dressed to pick up the girls and get to the boys school for Honor Roll assembly for BOTH boys! (In Logan's class, every single student made honor roll!!)now I am home hanging out, still not feeling great!
God is at work in my life and I see it each day. He has a lot to deal with in me and some times I buck likea raging bull. i have to learn what Jane said at BSF yesterday-Obedience brings blessings. I need a plaque that says that!!! May have to make one.....
Well, we are going to go and look at washers. ugh.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

so tired

that I just have to go to bed.

boring blog, sorry.

jenn, A friend made it for me:o)

Monday, January 5, 2009

short, sweet, sour

It was by far the strangest day.

I don't have words to explain, but wanted to get my post in.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

My Piper in the hospital....I am playing with some things, so there may be a lot of trials to see what I can do....
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long day

It was not a great day for me. I have had a really hard time dealing with the death of Robert. I don't know why. Monday is the service. I hope that will help me get some closure?
I didn't sleep well, so then after church I fell asleep and now I will have a hard time sleeping tonight. At least Daniel has 2 days off this week for the service and then one more. then I will go back to work. Finally.

trying to decide if I want to do Experiencing God or Esther(Beth Moore) at church. thinking about taking a break from and Sam both have so many dr appts that it makes it hard to get to on a weekly basis.

the kids played really well today, I was proud of them.
It will be nice to get back to routines.
My camera is giving me a hard time.....ugh./

Saturday, January 3, 2009


I never dreamed I would have so many about my biological father, but finding out about his passing today proved me wrong.

I wonder what was, what could have been, should I have tried harder, how hard was it for him in his last days being so sick? Lots of questions, but none measure up to the biggest of all, Will I see him in Heaven? I don't know if he had a relationship with the Lord or not. Please pray for peace for my oldest sister and I(My little sister has a different father.) unexpected emotions are hitting harder as the day goes on.

Friday, January 2, 2009


messed up. I had a post in process, the computer locked up and I got busy!
Our new tower is ready and I will be picking it up from Stacey and Hal tonight(and having dinner & hanging out!!). YEAH! I am sure to have a lot of pictures in the upcoming days :o)
I am going to lay all kids down in a few so they are well rested so we have a good time.

We have another foster visit on Monday night. I think it is our last one. I have to still finish my autobiography for her before then. UGH.

Yesterday I got most of the wash done~even folded and put away! Go me!! I have to work on our bedroom and also putting things on the walls.

I have found a lot of 'old' high school(both schools that I attended~Thomas Jefferson in Iowa and Joplin ~ friends on Face Book and am really excited to see some of the faces taht I have not seen in years!

Time to get some things done....