Sunday, May 20, 2012
I think about it all the time.
I just don't get over here and do it.
I am making changes-not big, I'm Moving changes, just changes in the way I think, do things and such.
I need to embrace where I am in life. I have learned to love the people I am meeting here, but I still say I like the city life. I don't miss it too much-I miss driving thru Starbucks on occasion with my hubby, I miss my mom and my daughter and my new grandbaby and my sisters. I miss our old church/church family. But, I have finally gotten so that I see people drive down the road and I know them!! I don't know when that happened, but it did-I used to think in my mind, oh, there goes so and so, nope, they are in Joplin, I am in Picayune...
I will be 40 on Wednesday. I am not bothered by the number at all, I embrace it! I just became a Mambo to little Lexi-who is beautiful, I have 5 kids I adore and a husband who knocks my socks off even when I want to fight with him!!
I just know I have been very depressed and in a bad state of mind for some time now. I have felt very negative and I don't want to be that person. I want my children to have memories of mommy being happy and home being safe and where they learn about God as much as when going to church. I want to be more involved. I mean, I cook and clean and get groceries, I take them to/from school, to ballet/baseball, I go to all events at school...but I want them to learn at home from me--to love, to laugh, to cook, to clean, to forgive, to cry, to dance...TO LIVE . Like last night, Gabi was so proud to cook the bacon(it was microwave bacon-hey, when you have a late ball game, breakfast is quick!)but I almost shooed her out of the kitchen because I was just trying to get done...she loves to be in there with me, so I am making a point to do that with her.
I have been searching for easy recipes on Pinterest that I can make with them over the summer, (as well as fun crafts for decorating their rooms-CHEAP, but fun!!)I want to start making some sweet treats for them as well-I can't keep buying expensive snack cakes and such that don't last even a day!! SO...that is on my to do list...
We are on a limited budget since I stay at home and that is ok. I don't mind our home, but I want to be proud to have people over and today, that is NOT the case. By next Saturday, it will be closer..we are having a party to celebrate my birthday and I am excited! Yes, we live in a double wide trailer, but I am not ashamed of that. What I am ashamed of it that I am not a great house keeper since moving here. I had a lot of stuff hidden in closets in Joplin. I don't have those closets here...so, there are a lot of things sitting around that I need to take care of. It wouldn't take long, I just need to do it. So, I am making a list and working on it everyday this week. I want the summer to be fun and not blah because we can't enjoy our surroundings!! I have the organizational skills to do this-heck, I have a trailer sitting next door to put all my craft things in!! that would help :O)
This is my reality. My mind is all over the place. I LOVE my family with my whole heart..I just want them to see Jesus in me and what I do.
I know this is ALL OVER the place...but I was thinking and typing...SO, pray for me if you think of it....I could sure use it!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Piper with her sweet cousin Phillip :0))) I know I am very behind ...I have been taking photos, just slacking in posting. between being in the hospital and Daniel's Poppa passing -we lay him to rest today....-it was a week long affair as he had been battling cancer ....please, don't give up yet!!!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
the kids LOVE chili.....I really love it on a super cold day...but, I love those kids of ours, so, I made chili on a day it got over 70*! but, I did not make sweet corn bread ...I know, it aches me to say that, but I just didn't want to heat the house up!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
So migraines suck....I have spent the day on the couch, taking meds, with no, relief. this us how I took the kids to school -robe and boots!! but, then Piper forgot her book bag in the van...so I had to put real clothes on! now I am off to the ER in hopes of relief for my noggin ...
Thursday, January 5, 2012
so today I get to spend a little extra time with Dawson ...since he is 13, those moments are extra special, even if he is just sitting on a Dr's exam table! We are sitting here, praying he dies NOT have chicken pox. Night before last, after hus shower, a few bumps showed up on his belly. Last night when he got out, hus ENTIRE belly and part of his back were covered ...I gave him some benydrl -how do you spell that??? -and that has helped the itching, but the bumps have spread to his arms and face and back and even his legs...ugh!!!
so, here we sit, quarantined to a room - a pink room!! lol!!! waiting our turn, playing on our respective phones ..after I tried talking ..no dice Mom, I AM TRYING TO PLAY THIS GAME AND WOULD YOU PLEASE SILENCE YOUR PHONE IN THE OFFICE!!! Sigh, at least he has phone etiquette, right?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
the house is quiet other than the hums if the heater, washer and dishwasher ...one goal for this year is to read through the entire Bible ...start at the front and keep going...I also want to study what we are learning in Sunday school each week, as well as meditate on the sermon from each week. I'm not super Holy or anything, just a gal searching. I have never read the ENTIRE Bible... the lessons we are learning in class hit me between the eyes or step on my toes each week. I just want to get back to really listening to God and being more aware....
if you see me, ask if I have done my reading for the day -hold me accountable!!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I should be folding and hanging ...instead, I am sitting on my duff...that pile will still be sitting there in the morning when the kids all go back to school and I am left home, to do as I please!!! laundry, take one tree down and clean the kitchen while consuming coffee, lots of coffee!!!