thoughts after a tornado

So, on Sunday afternoon, May 22, I was cutting some watermelon up to eat after getting back from shopping. I was getting on Facebook to tell how excited I was that Gram's had just purchased a 24' x 53" swimming pool for the backyard...as it started loading, the first post was from Pastor John Swadley....(our pastor from Joplin)

Under the house in the crawlspace with my family. Praying for all my 4 state friends.

May 22 at 5:58pm via BlackBerry

I dropped my salt shaker and ran out of the door to tell Daniel who was working on the space the pool would be going(he was working with a tiller and later Gram's told me she thought he was hurt...that didn't even dawn on me!) I was already trying to call my mom who I feared was at home alone as my little sister was on her honeymoon and I didn't know if Christina and Izzy were still with her..she is on oxygen and I knew she wouldn't be able to get her portable out on on alone....all circuits were busy! I kept calling and texting. we had turned on the tv and they were already showing St John's. I was in such shock(I know that is was no where near what those who had to endure were, just how I was feeling at the time) I was so worried that mom would have no oxygen and was alone and I was telling Daniel to call and text and I was crying. Finally, after what seemed like FOREVER, mom sent a jumbled text to Daniel and said she was ok.

Daniel got a call from our long time friend Chad and he told us the apartments we had lived in were gone...I lost it, we had lived there for over 10 years-the kids don't remember another home. We had so many friends in the complex and we had no idea who had made it and who didn't. We started going through our phones and texting. the kids were at Grammie and Pawpaws...I wasn't ready for them to know what exactly was happening. I felt like time was standing still. My new and very dear sweet friend Anna came over and sat with me, as did my SIL Stephanie. I had the worst feeling of guilt that I wasn't there to help anyone. That we had moved and were ok. BUT, then as we talked, I knew God had protected our family in such a big way. When we decided to make this move, many didn't understand, but we felt as if God told us to GO and we were just being obedient. Now, that does not in any way mean it was easy!! It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Moving our children from everything they had ever known,changing school and not being with thier friends, leaving our church family we love so much, leaving my family, leaving our apartment that was our home-where we had brought our baby girls home, just leaving all of that was so tough. We have all had some really tough times here. School was a challenge for my kids-they had always done great and now I had one who cried everyday about going. I was so lonely-now, don't get me wrong, we have family here, and my SIL has been great about us spending time together, but, it was so hard not having my sweet friends all around me, I missed them and couldn't even call much because it hurt my heart to talk to them and I didn't want to seem unhappy, because really, I love living here. it is a small town, life is slower paced, we were able to get pets, my kdis are trying to grow a garden...I mean, it is a new life and it is good. I remember people saying they couldn't believe we would move where there were hurricanes and I always said, well, i can outrun them, but I can't outrun a tornado. I don't take that as lighly as I did before. We made a choice not to send the kids to school on Monday...we told them what had happened and we let them cry and then we put them to bed, but I couldn't stop watching. it was so unreal with each new viddeo they would show. This was my home, this was where our life was. I was up and down all night checking on things and I just couldn't sleep. the kids stayed home and Gabi had an awards ceremony at school, so I took her and got her awards. I had told the principal why the kids were not there and in the awards ceremony, she told everyone and told them that we were going to be collecting itmes for Joplin as well as monetarty donations. I had a lady give me a sizeable check right as we were leaving. We went and opened a checking account for donations at our bank. We came home and I was glued to the internet in hopes of finding all those we love. Facebook proved to be an amazing tool in helping the victims of the tornado! with each person we got texts/fb posts from, we kept praying! I almost forgot it was my birthday...my kids didn't! I kept getting sweet FB messages from my Joplin peeps and I was just thinking-you have much bigger worries than my birthday! we had a baseball game for Logan so we headed out...after the game we came home and they surprised me with a sweet little party. I kept getting messages that said how glad everyone was that we no longer lived in the apartments, because they were gone. I got pictures and that was hard. Tuesday, both boys had awards ceremonies and got many awards! Dawson got the Pres. award for excellence, pe, computer, student of the month, a/b honor roll and he recieved over all best male 6th grade student and won a BIKE!! Logan got a/b honor roll, social studies awrard, and the "Babe Ruth" award for being the best athlete in the class as well as perfect attendance. We had another baseball game and after the game while in the drive thru for food, we saw that the sirens were going off. We started praying as we waited, thanking God for His protection from this storm. We prayed all across town. We were so thankful when we saw it had passed!!! Wed, I sat and just stayed online seeing who needed answers they might not be able to find and found what I could for them. I posted on the storms up by KC, keeping my sister that is there updated when all she had was phone. It's not much, but for now, it is what I can do.

http://picayuneitem.com/local/x962125177/Local-family-remembers-time-friends-in-Joplin

this is the article about our family and how God moved us here and we are planning a trip over Father's Day weekend to bring supplies. I really wanted to come this weekend, but we feel like there are many planning on being there this weekend and in a few weeks, there may not be as many. I have received so many donations already! Our local baseball assoc is gathering things as well as many others who are helping us to gather items! I had a gal come to my van at school today and give me money to buy items! I am overwhelmed with emotions as I see people who went through Katrina here help those we love in Joplin! I know God has plans that are so much bigger than any of us. I remember in BSF talking about how we can see this tiny little bit, but our God can see everything!

It was all i could do to not sit at the computer for the past 2 weeks non stop. We went to Ft Walton Beach for a family mini vacation. it was so fun! We all needed the getaway....we are home now. we have been having VBS at a local church that Debbie(my MIL)is doing crafts, so I have been helping her. The kids and I will be heading to Joplin on June 17th to deliver items as well as visit with friends. We can't wait to be there and lend hands where we can!!!

I am praying for you Joplin, as is the rest of our family and our friends! We love you!!!!

Remembering

I don't have a ton of memories of my Mammy.

I used to dream about this fire place, it was in the middle of the room-like, you could run around it. I was wearing a long dress, my little sister had one on that matched. We were standing on the fire place singing. We laughed, everyone laughed. We were happy.

I always thought it was a dream. Until I asked my mom about it. It was REAL!!!

It was a real memory that I had stuffed away and kept revisiting.

I remember my mom always telling me I was just like my Mammy. BUT, I didn't know my Mammy(I knew her when I was little, but didn't have many memories). Until 1991. I was married to Chad-he had just come home from Desert Storm. We went to Mammy and Papa's house. I remember the stone house-I passed it every so often on a trip to a friends before I even knew she lived there and also got pumpkins at the Pumpkin Patch next door. I remember walking in and crying as she hugged me so very tight. We talked so long. We ate. We laughed. We cried. My father came-I didn't know him either. Is it strange that I was more excited to meet my Mammy than my father?(that is another entire post!) I also found out I had other siblings-3 that I knew of then...2 sisters and a BROTHER!!! they were very young.

We would visit both Mammy and Robert and the kids from time to time.

I remember crying to Mammy after my divorce from Chad. She listened. We ate, we laughed, we cried.

I moved away and lost touch.

When I moved back in 2001, I visited Mammy. She came to the hospital when I had Gabi-it was a sweet moment for my Mammy to be there...she had missed so much of my life.

I sent cards, called and didn't visit near as I should have.

Mammy became ill. She was in a nursing home. I couldn't bring myself to go. Until a weekend helping with our youth. They baked cookies and ended up taking them to members of our church-they were in the same nursing home as my Mammy. I found her room and oh, we laughed, we cried and we hugged.

When Mom got sick last year and ended up in the nursing home for rehab, she ended up down the hall from Mammy. We would go and sit with her...some times, she talked. Other times, she didn't. We always held her hands.

I am so thankful for those special times when I could just sit with her and soak in her presence. She wasn't herself in the nursing home-her illness took that from her.

Mammy passed away Sunday night-at 11:11 pm. My mom's favorite time. coincidence? I think not! every time I have looked at that number for years, I have thought of my momma. Now it will remind me of a woman who loved so deep that it must have hurt.

I know that Heaven is rejoicing and the celebration must be so amazing. I know she is loving my babies who I never got to meet and that she got to meet my daddy who raised me. I know that Mammy is sitting at our Saviors feet. That is where she wanted to be.

I didn't get to go back to Joplin for the services. Daniel and I just felt it wasn't a good idea. We have had some adjustment issues with the kids, as well as they are out all next week for Spring Break, so we decided to stay here. Mammy would be proud of that decision-putting family first. She always did.

Mammy, You left an impression in my life that no one can change or take away. Thank you for loving my Momma when she was a young woman, starting her life and becoming a mother. You made a huge impact on her and the way she raised us. You may be gone, but you will be at the entrance to Heaven waiting when Jesus calls me home and I can hug you once again.

Heaven is lucky

to have my Mammy. She passed away this evening.

please pray for our family during this time.

Happy to know she is with Jesus, but sad for our loss....

So, let's see...where to start.

I guess that it would be good to go back to when we came down to MS for New Year's to celebrate Christmas...

We came down and we knew coming in that the family would talk to us about moving back down here-just like every time we would visit. This time, however, my heart was different in the discussions and I was open to listening to them. Debbie(my MIL) and Donnie(my FIL) had moved in with Grams(Debbie's mom)and they had a double wide trailer sitting with no one living in it, so we would not have rent or a house payment at all. Debbie said that God gave her a word in church on Sunday. She said that the kids needed a grandpa. I knew they were missing out on this, but never really thought about it much. Lots of little things were said and then one night when Daniel and I were out on the porch, I told him that I wold be obedient to whatever God told him to do-move or stay, I would obey them and submit to the decision. Daniel ended up getting sick just before leaving so we left so we stayed an extra day. We got home and Daniel stayed home another day from work. I went in to check and see how he was doing and he was on the computer loooking for jobs in the area. I asked him if he had looked at Cable One and he had not, so he went to it and there was an opening for a job. He sent in his resume and they guy in charge was excited and wanted him immediatley...however his boss was a little hesitant to give him a date he could be done. I started getting boxes and packing what I could. We got a date and reserved the truck for moving and the kids were all so excited. I packed as much as I could. My mom decided that she didn't want to move and she moved in with Misty-that was a hard, hard day. I know my sister was going to do a great job taking care of her, but I missed her so much.

The last day of school was so hard. I cried when I dropped the kids off at school. I was blessed with Staecy, Hal and Zach coming over to help me finish packing on Friday while I ran errands. When picking the kids up, I was in Piper's class and Angie came in telling me that I needed to get to Logan's class and she finished packing up Piper's items. I was not prepared for the tears being shed in Logan's class room. That is when it hit me that we were really moving away. I did my best and got all the kids loaded up and went to get Dawson. It was a crazy day to say the least.

We decided to not pack at all on Friday night like we had planned and to not leave until Monday after we wrapped some thngs up, so that gave us a little more time.

Daniel got off work and we were able to go and pick up the Penske truck up. We rushed home and got cleaned up and ready to go to the 'Farewell' party at FP North for us. We ran to the Bushnell's for dinner first, ate really fast then, got to our party. We were so blessed to see so many of our friends come out to see us before we left! I did really good and didn't cry. Daniel did have some tears when a dear friend prayed over him and the boys. that was a special moment.

Sat, we got up and started the day off with breakfast with Shawnda and Vince. We have been so blessed by the friendships we have in JoMo. We then went to the house and got the truck to go to our storage unit and loaded all of it into the truck-I didn't realize how much we had in there!!! So then we went to the house and met up with friends who were going to help us pack up the truck. We packed all of the big items up and started on boxes and I was freaking out more than a little bit! I knew it wasn't all going to fit and I wasn't sure what to do...then came the moment when we were eating pizza for lunch and they were telling me I needed to figure out what I really wanted of what was left so they could be sure to get all of that in! I ran out of the room and cried. Steven B. came in and was telling me it was just stuff. I knew that, but it was my stuff and I was moving far away and it was all just too much! We decided we needed a new bed anyway and put it in the dumpster as well as the kitchen table that was really too small for our family. We also put a few odds and ends pieces of furniture that was old and needed replacing out there. Shortly after, my MIL called and we were chatting and I asked her if she still had the king bed in her old room so we could use it and she told me someone had JUST picked it up...I about lost it! oh well...it was JUST a bed, right?? they also took the kitchen table. ugh. we would survive. So we finished up most of the stuff and the only items were left in the living room. It seemed so strange to not have anything in what had been out home for 10 years! The girls had never known anything else. It was bitterweet. We left and went to church for the last time, then we went to dinner with our LifeGroup at DelRio's. it was so nice! Then we went and stayed with Stacey and Hal for the night. We had lunch plans with my little sister/Gene and my mom, so we went out there and just hung out. it was a good day. Daniel and I went back over Sunday night to finish-we got it all out and as I was vaccumming, I was praying for the family that would live there next. That they would have as many happy memories as we had, that they would know love in those walls...you get the idea. Then i went next door to talk to Ms Claudine and tell her goodbye and found out she and her daughter were moving in there!!! I was so tickeled that I knew who I had prayed for!!! We went back to Stacey and Hal's place and tried to get some sleep.

Monday came and there were major winter storms blowing in. We had some thngs to get done in the am and planned on leaving about 12 or 1. We were able to roll out at about 1PM. We knew we would have to stop-we had no idea where yet, just that we hoped to make it to Memphis. As we left town, it was SOOOOOO very foggy. it stayed that way past Fayettville and into Little Rock, we had rain :O( it was not fun to drive in. One boy rode with Daniel and one with me to help with the girls needs...then my windshield wipers went crazy and wouldn't go down!!! we stopped for gas and potty and then for dinner. We made it to Grenada-I could not go any further!!! It was raining so much and my eyes were getting tired. We pulled into Motel 6 and they only had 2 rooms with 2 double beds, so we had to each have 2 kids-i took the girls and he took the boys. It rained all night and long into the next day! We went to some little place called Huddle House for breakfast and I about died when the waitress asked Piper if she wanted grits and she asked what grits were!!!! babababahahahah

We continued on our trip-in the rain...ugh, I was so very sick of the rain. We got past Jackson and it got really bad-so bad that we pulled over for a bit to let it ease up.

We got into town late Tuesday afternoon. We didn't do anything but sit until Wed am, when we had to unload the truck because we had to return it. We got it done and got the truck returned. We did NOTHING on Thursday as we were just so beat.

By this time, Joplin had over 20 inches of snow and we were so happy we were not there. We didn't go until Friday to enroll the kids in school-figured no biggie, they would not have been in school anyway if we had not been moving. Well, that was it's own mess. I had called to get info and find out what school the kids would be attending. I also asked if they would need a Form 121(a special MS shot record when shots have been given in other states)Nope they told me, just bring the shot record with you and 2 forms of ID with your MS address, so we had to type up a letter saying Daniel's parents own the home and get our drivers license changed over, not a biggie, right...not so fast. after getting the letter typed up and NOTARIZED, it doesn't have an end date as to when we will be living in the home-well, because this is now our HOME, why would we put an end date???. SO 2 trips to the bank for notery, 2 trips to DMV for our licenses, now on to school, where, guess what, they have to have the forms and you have to go to the health dept for that. So, we head to the health dept and sign in, only to find that the boys need shots. So, I have to return on Monday, it is too late to get back with the kids-who were not yet with us at this point! go back on Monday, Dawson has to have a shot, but they don't want to do Logan's because, well, we don't have a full shot record to show what he has had, I have to get a copy from the school-UGH!!! but, they give him a 30 day pass and sign a letter saying I will get it.

Go back to the school and get the girls signed up and tlhen we went home and ate, then went back to the boys school-they have one for K-2nd(Lower Elem.) and one for 3rd-6th(Upper Elem.)...we get there and they tell us that we are actually supposed to go to West Side-not South Side but that 1st and 5th are full and we have a choice-all at this school or 2 at each school. um, we have been through enough changes this week, we will stick with one school!!! Got them all enrolled to start on Tuesday.

SO, for now, that is the start.....

WOO HOO!!!!

we are moving!!!

We are moving to the south-MISSISSIPPI....
30 minutes from the beach,
a promotion and good raise,
a free home,
family next door and around town,
kids cousins are all there...

We are so excited!!!

I have packed 98% of the girls and boys rooms, both hall closets, the computer desk, the Tupperware, all the books(yep, just ask Logan-who needed a book to read for school and I had already packed them!!), a few other items....
this week I will be very busy packing and spending time with friends!
we know there will be times when we miss our life here, but we also know we are being obedient to God and He will take care of all of the details. We know where the kids will be going to school(ps, they wear uniforms in the public school and I am BEYOND excited1), we have a church we want to try out, the beach is 30 minutes away, I found a fitness center with an outside pool similar to Rosedale here in Joplin that we were members of, the boys sign up for baseball the week we get there, found a dance studio for the girls, looked at the grocery store ads for down there...

SO, I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on and that I will not even be thinking about the blog for a couple of weeks, but have been storing up some sweet photos that I took!!!
Hope your January is going well!!!