she had a good night.
She is very feisty.
she was trying to take out her tube last night.
they had to tie her hands down.
then she was pulling on her pulse ox cord-
with EVERYTHING she had in her...
so they upped her sedation because she was getting so agitated.
I have been sitting with her for 20-30 minutes at a time...
they move her every two hours and clean her mouth as well.
it is hard to watch.
when she coughs, I am so afraid she is going to die.
her face turns deep purplish and it freaks me out a bit....
I am so not ready to lose my mom. She is one of my closest and very best friends. I tell her everything. we laugh and cry and get mad at each other, but I honestly think that we are as close as a mother and daughter can bed.
I am praying. Praying for her to recover, praying that she will pull through this. Praying I have the strength to make it whatever happens. I really had no idea she was this sick. I mean, I knew she was ill, but not so ill that they would have to tube her. It was one of the scariest moments of my life-maybe the very scariest ever. being pushed aside for the work to be done on her. I felt so alone. my sister was completely unaware what was happening as it was going on. The Dr later said she was sorry that she couldn't talk to me, but it had to be done right then. As I look at my mother laying in that bed, not able to breathe on her own, I realized just how very fast our lives can change or be taken away from us.
I just know she is going to pull through this and it will be a faint memory in a short time. THANK you to my friends for the prayers. Thank you for help with the children. Words can never tell you how much you mean.