Thursday, June 10, 2010

busy June, but LOVING IT!!!

Wow, school ended and we got sooo very busy. We have had baseball 4 nights a week...we had the tournament one weekend, swimming and the zoo the next...just enjoying being a family.

I missed the kids so much during all my surgeries and recovery. I went to the Dr yesterday and was released!!! It was a long 9 weeks and we are still working out the hormone issues with medicine, but I feel so much better. I do get tired quickly, but I am happy to be able to take care of the family again. Funny that I was so very excited for the break, but wow, after a few weeks, I was so very ready to take it on and get back to the craziness of our family.

On a sad note, Izzy has decided to move out. She said, 'she didn't like the situation, here or school and she couldn't be herself here.'(her words, not mine) She said she had friends she could stay with and didn't want to end things with us. We were all blindsided. Or at least I was. We had told her at Easter if she moved again, she would not be able to come back. It is too hard on the other 4 children and we have to still look out for them, even when she doesn't want us to. They are hurting and it is sad that it has come to this. Izzy is blaming me for all of it, but I know my heart and so does God. I pray she will be safe and take care of herself. This isn't how Daniel and I pictured life after adoption, but this is where we are. I have a peace from God that we are doing the best thing for the rest of the family. Life goes on. She may have to fall really hard to learn a lesson. We did everything we could to give her a good loving family life. Did Daniel and I make mistakes along the way? you bet we did. Did we give it our very best? yes. Do we love her just as we love the other 4? yes. If it were one of the other 4 children doing the same thing, would we feel the same way? YES. I will not let someone disrespect us in our home.

This past year has been very hard for Daniel and I. We BOTH made mistakes that had the potential to destroy our marriage. We decided that would turn back to God and we will work toward a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage. It would have been so much easier to do it the 'world's way' and get a divorce. Is it tough? oh yeah. Is it worth it? yes. Is our family worth it? yes. I love Daniel and I know he loves me. We lost track of that in the midst of raising 5 kids and just trying to survive some days. Are there days it is hard to like him/myself? oh yeah, but I know that I love him in a way that I have/will never love another. This is the man that God chose for me to share my forever with and I am excited that he wants to share his with me. I am thankful for a forgiving, merciful God who loves us regardless of the sin we are living in and helps us to get beyond it. We are going to counseling separately and as a couple. We are blessed to have found AMAZING Christian counselors. I know that God placed them in our life for a special reason. We will NOT be a statistic. We will celebrate our 12 year anniversary this year and I can't wait for the 50th!!!! easy-NO, worth it? OH YEAH.

Well, it is late, I need to get some rest...Dawson has an orthodontist appt on Friday and then we have a game on Friday night. Looking forward to the weekend with the is sure to be busy, but fun!!

1 comment:

Patti said...

Found you through your comments on Kelle Hampton's blog..I love this post, very heartfelt and real. God will bless you for your commitment!!