Thursday, November 5, 2009

plugging along...

some days have seemed to go on forever(usually the ones where I have had a sick child or am sick)

some days have gone by too fast-you know where you can just relax.

been working and cleaning and reading and being.
some days I want to crawl in my bed and sleep and have 0 interruptions, other days I don't want to be alone...can we all say "hello depression".

i know it hits at this time each year. I was prepared for it. It seems that it would be easier.
i think about losing my dad and a friend and yada, yada....I could go on...

but then there are things like pulling Gabi's first top tooth out last night and seeing the fear/excitement in her eyes when she saw blood and a tooth in the paper towel.

I want to be all rosy and there is nothing ever wrong, but there are things wrong. Like sick children and homeless people and pornography and it is everywhere, no matter what I am doing, it pops up all around me. I am aware, but beyond praying, I don't know that I can do much. I read blogs that inspire, I want to be one, but how does one get there??

so, even with all my blessings, you know, my 5 kids, my hubby, my van, my job, my church, my God, my friends...sometimes it is hard. Hard to know others are having a hard time. Hard to turn off emotions that get the best of us when someone is hurting. Hard to not be able to really help.

hmmm, I thought it would really help to get it off my chest, but not so much.