words are not coming to me.
I want them, but they are running away.
Pain is deep.
anger burns.
guilt rages.
Please pray for my family.

I may never be able to talk about what my family is going through at this time, but I do want to tell you I am THANKFUL for friends to help and pray and who love us regardless.

God knows our hearts and that, in the end is all that matters.

plugging along...

some days have seemed to go on forever(usually the ones where I have had a sick child or am sick)

some days have gone by too fast-you know where you can just relax.

been working and cleaning and reading and being.
some days I want to crawl in my bed and sleep and have 0 interruptions, other days I don't want to be alone...can we all say "hello depression".

i know it hits at this time each year. I was prepared for it. It seems that it would be easier.
i think about losing my dad and a friend and yada, yada....I could go on...

but then there are things like pulling Gabi's first top tooth out last night and seeing the fear/excitement in her eyes when she saw blood and a tooth in the paper towel.

I want to be all rosy and there is nothing ever wrong, but there are things wrong. Like sick children and homeless people and pornography and it is everywhere, no matter what I am doing, it pops up all around me. I am aware, but beyond praying, I don't know that I can do much. I read blogs that inspire, I want to be one, but how does one get there??

so, even with all my blessings, you know, my 5 kids, my hubby, my van, my job, my church, my God, my friends...sometimes it is hard. Hard to know others are having a hard time. Hard to turn off emotions that get the best of us when someone is hurting. Hard to not be able to really help.

hmmm, I thought it would really help to get it off my chest, but not so much.

I can't keep up!!!
working and being a full time mom/wife is so much harder than I ever thought!
KUDOS to all of you who have done this for years!
HOW do you do it???
I need as many secrets as I can get :o)
The van broke this week...getting it back today and so happy.
i can't imagine not having a car. i have so much to do.
This week is Halloween...need to get cracking on the costumes parts....
need to get candy and such for my class on Wed for our party
and for the kids for the parties at school....

so, we are still alive....
just really busy....
no promises to do any better any time soon.....

Menu Planning...

This week I did two weeks of menus...
out of my new Taste Of Home Dinner on a Dime cookbook we will be having....
Ranchero Supper
Pork Chop Potato Dinner
Oregano lemon Chicken w/scallop potatoes
Black Bean nacho Bake
Italian Chicken Roll Ups
Shepard's Pie
hamburger Straganoff
Creamy Tomato soup w/ grilled cheese

old stand by's....
Race track Beans
pancakes
meatloaf w/ corn, mashed potatoes
Chicken Nuggets with french fries
Speg & bread
fish planks w/mac and cheese


For breakfast...(they repeat)
hot chocolate and toast
cereal
muffins
french toast sticks(home made)
pop tarts(Sundays)
oatmeal


for lunches, either left overs or sandwiches....

with all groceries purchased plus the 1/2 hog that we picked up this week, we spent just over $200....BUT, the1/2 hog was not used in any of the meals, so that will help with the budget for the next couple months....I will keep you posted....

another one bites the dust

Logan is down with the Flu.
Dizzy.
Nauseated.
Hurting.
I hate when they hurt and I can't do anything to help them.
Daniel took him to Urgent Care.
Dr said it was a fast, strong positive test.
Poor Logan.
I will be staying home with him on Tuesday.
I think Daniel on Wed....
they said he will be out of school 7-10 days!
I have nothing to say to that...
in a separate post, I have a bunch of cute pictures!

on the mend

I am feeling better.
I had a sick Dawson this week.
101 temp at school Tuesday.
finally fever free today.
He was a good citizen and didn't get to be at the assembly.
this month was Respect.
Proud of him!

read a sad story of a new mom(just brought a baby home from the hospital)who passed away.
Very sad.
http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/
The husband has a new infant. Pray for him to feel the presence of God.

Waiting on a visit from our case worker and then off to dinner for Sammy's birthday.
I have a bunch of cute pictures to post, but have yet to upload them.
thinking about getting an external hard drive to store the pictures on...any ideas???

more changes

I cut 8 inches off of my hair...I have a picture, but I can't mess with it right now because I am sick.
I have sinusitis and bronchitis.
I feel crummy.
I want to go back to bed.
I want some hot tea and soup, and maybe bread.

My hubby stayed home to care for Piper who isn't feeling well either.
just got back from taking Sammy to the dr.
Now going to Walmart to get ???
I love that man!!!

I am going to curl back up on the couch and rest....