Keeping It Real(even when reality bites)

project 366

2012-01-18T20:18:00.001-06:00

they brought in some heavy duty antibiotics!! he said not many people get them ...does that mean I'm lucky??

project 366

2012-01-18T20:17:00.001-06:00

make sure you got the right girl!

project 366

2012-01-18T20:16:00.001-06:00

this is my inner elbow!!! it looks even worse now

project 366

2012-01-18T20:15:00.001-06:00

yep

project 366

2012-01-18T20:14:00.001-06:00

the past few days sucked!

project 366

2012-01-14T17:20:00.001-06:00

too sick to do anything, so here are my cute pups!

project 366

2012-01-14T17:16:00.001-06:00

sick, ii remembered to take the pictures, just forgot to post ...
this is what having skin cancer did to me...
not awful, but, there they are...my scars ...reminders of neglect on my body!

project 366

2012-01-12T22:39:00.001-06:00

I love these 2 girls!!! my sister in law Stephanie and her daughter Miss Sophia ....blessed to get to spend time with them! Sophia just had her 2nd birthday ....

project 366

2012-01-12T15:33:00.001-06:00

forgot to post this yesterday! oh it was so GOOD!!!!

project 366

2012-01-10T17:34:00.001-06:00

the kids LOVE chili.....I really love it on a super cold day...but, I love those kids of ours, so, I made chili on a day it got over 70*! but, I did not make sweet corn bread ...I know, it aches me to say that, but I just didn't want to heat the house up!!

an entra for project 366

2012-01-08T21:29:00.001-06:00

remember Friday when u wore my robe to school? this is how I ended the day..at the hospital, getting shots of diladed x2!!! ugh it was the worst headache I have ever had..a glimpse of how I felt

Project 366

2012-01-08T20:50:00.001-06:00

can you overdose on Chloraseptic?? if so, I just may!!! I feel just crummy. ..praying one more night if sleep will help.

I don't know why it is putting my pictures sideways ....interesting...

Project 366

2012-01-07T20:41:00.001-06:00

This is our 'black and gold' tree...we decorated it in honor of our favorite team, the New Orleans Saint's ...it will stay up as long as they play!! let's pray that is until Super Bowl!

Project 366

2012-01-06T15:24:00.001-06:00

So migraines suck....I have spent the day on the couch, taking meds, with no, relief. this us how I took the kids to school -robe and boots!! but, then Piper forgot her book bag in the van...so I had to put real clothes on! now I am off to the ER in hopes of relief for my noggin ...

project 366

2012-01-05T10:46:00.001-06:00

so today I get to spend a little extra time with Dawson ...since he is 13, those moments are extra special, even if he is just sitting on a Dr's exam table! We are sitting here, praying he dies NOT have chicken pox. Night before last, after hus shower, a few bumps showed up on his belly. Last night when he got out, hus ENTIRE belly and part of his back were covered ...I gave him some benydrl -how do you spell that??? -and that has helped the itching, but the bumps have spread to his arms and face and back and even his legs...ugh!!!so, here we sit, quarantined to a room - a pink room!! lol!!! waiting our turn, playing on our respective phones ..after I tried talking ..no dice Mom, I AM TRYING TO PLAY THIS GAME AND WOULD YOU PLEASE SILENCE YOUR PHONE IN THE OFFICE!!! Sigh, at least he has phone etiquette, right?

a new year, hoping for a new blog...

2012-01-04T22:07:00.000-06:00

Just as we all look for change in our lives at the start of each year, I am hoping that this year, I can renew this blog. I loved blogging for years...LiveJournal...MySpace...FaceBook...Blogger.... I want to keep this one, I like the format, I like my visitors. so holler if you visit!! see you each day, coffee, chat-some boring, hopefully some not, but all of it real, because that is how I roll!! HUGS

Project 366

2012-01-04T09:19:00.001-06:00

the house is quiet other than the hums if the heater, washer and dishwasher ...one goal for this year is to read through the entire Bible ...start at the front and keep going...I also want to study what we are learning in Sunday school each week, as well as meditate on the sermon from each week. I'm not super Holy or anything, just a gal searching. I have never read the ENTIRE Bible... the lessons we are learning in class hit me between the eyes or step on my toes each week. I just want to get back to really listening to God and being more aware....
if you see me, ask if I have done my reading for the day -hold me accountable!!
HUGS

today's picture

2012-01-03T19:50:00.001-06:00

I should be folding and hanging ...instead, I am sitting on my duff...that pile will still be sitting there in the morning when the kids all go back to school and I am left home, to do as I please!!! laundry, take one tree down and clean the kitchen while consuming coffee, lots of coffee!!!

January 2nd photo

2012-01-02T22:02:00.001-06:00

Jersey has done nothing all day but sleep!!! ugh....gonna be a long night!!!

Photo a day...January 1

2012-01-02T21:57:00.001-06:00

enjoying McDonald's using our gift cards from Gram's!!

2011-07-05T09:08:00.000-05:00

thoughts after a tornado

2011-06-09T13:02:00.003-05:00

So, on Sunday afternoon, May 22, I was cutting some watermelon up to eat after getting back from shopping. I was getting on Facebook to tell how excited I was that Gram's had just purchased a 24' x 53" swimming pool for the backyard...as it started loading, the first post was from Pastor John Swadley....(our pastor from Joplin)

Under the house in the crawlspace with my family. Praying for all my 4 state friends.

May 22 at 5:58pm via BlackBerry

I dropped my salt shaker and ran out of the door to tell Daniel who was working on the space the pool would be going(he was working with a tiller and later Gram's told me she thought he was hurt...that didn't even dawn on me!) I was already trying to call my mom who I feared was at home alone as my little sister was on her honeymoon and I didn't know if Christina and Izzy were still with her..she is on oxygen and I knew she wouldn't be able to get her portable out on on alone....all circuits were busy! I kept calling and texting. we had turned on the tv and they were already showing St John's. I was in such shock(I know that is was no where near what those who had to endure were, just how I was feeling at the time) I was so worried that mom would have no oxygen and was alone and I was telling Daniel to call and text and I was crying. Finally, after what seemed like FOREVER, mom sent a jumbled text to Daniel and said she was ok.

Daniel got a call from our long time friend Chad and he told us the apartments we had lived in were gone...I lost it, we had lived there for over 10 years-the kids don't remember another home. We had so many friends in the complex and we had no idea who had made it and who didn't. We started going through our phones and texting. the kids were at Grammie and Pawpaws...I wasn't ready for them to know what exactly was happening. I felt like time was standing still. My new and very dear sweet friend Anna came over and sat with me, as did my SIL Stephanie. I had the worst feeling of guilt that I wasn't there to help anyone. That we had moved and were ok. BUT, then as we talked, I knew God had protected our family in such a big way. When we decided to make this move, many didn't understand, but we felt as if God told us to GO and we were just being obedient. Now, that does not in any way mean it was easy!! It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Moving our children from everything they had ever known,changing school and not being with thier friends, leaving our church family we love so much, leaving my family, leaving our apartment that was our home-where we had brought our baby girls home, just leaving all of that was so tough. We have all had some really tough times here. School was a challenge for my kids-they had always done great and now I had one who cried everyday about going. I was so lonely-now, don't get me wrong, we have family here, and my SIL has been great about us spending time together, but, it was so hard not having my sweet friends all around me, I missed them and couldn't even call much because it hurt my heart to talk to them and I didn't want to seem unhappy, because really, I love living here. it is a small town, life is slower paced, we were able to get pets, my kdis are trying to grow a garden...I mean, it is a new life and it is good. I remember people saying they couldn't believe we would move where there were hurricanes and I always said, well, i can outrun them, but I can't outrun a tornado. I don't take that as lighly as I did before. We made a choice not to send the kids to school on Monday...we told them what had happened and we let them cry and then we put them to bed, but I couldn't stop watching. it was so unreal with each new viddeo they would show. This was my home, this was where our life was. I was up and down all night checking on things and I just couldn't sleep. the kids stayed home and Gabi had an awards ceremony at school, so I took her and got her awards. I had told the principal why the kids were not there and in the awards ceremony, she told everyone and told them that we were going to be collecting itmes for Joplin as well as monetarty donations. I had a lady give me a sizeable check right as we were leaving. We went and opened a checking account for donations at our bank. We came home and I was glued to the internet in hopes of finding all those we love. Facebook proved to be an amazing tool in helping the victims of the tornado! with each person we got texts/fb posts from, we kept praying! I almost forgot it was my birthday...my kids didn't! I kept getting sweet FB messages from my Joplin peeps and I was just thinking-you have much bigger worries than my birthday! we had a baseball game for Logan so we headed out...after the game we came home and they surprised me with a sweet little party. I kept getting messages that said how glad everyone was that we no longer lived in the apartments, because they were gone. I got pictures and that was hard. Tuesday, both boys had awards ceremonies and got many awards! Dawson got the Pres. award for excellence, pe, computer, student of the month, a/b honor roll and he recieved over all best male 6th grade student and won a BIKE!! Logan got a/b honor roll, social studies awrard, and the "Babe Ruth" award for being the best athlete in the class as well as perfect attendance. We had another baseball game and after the game while in the drive thru for food, we saw that the sirens were going off. We started praying as we waited, thanking God for His protection from this storm. We prayed all across town. We were so thankful when we saw it had passed!!! Wed, I sat and just stayed online seeing who needed answers they might not be able to find and found what I could for them. I posted on the storms up by KC, keeping my sister that is there updated when all she had was phone. It's not much, but for now, it is what I can do.

http://picayuneitem.com/local/x962125177/Local-family-remembers-time-friends-in-Joplin

this is the article about our family and how God moved us here and we are planning a trip over Father's Day weekend to bring supplies. I really wanted to come this weekend, but we feel like there are many planning on being there this weekend and in a few weeks, there may not be as many. I have received so many donations already! Our local baseball assoc is gathering things as well as many others who are helping us to gather items! I had a gal come to my van at school today and give me money to buy items! I am overwhelmed with emotions as I see people who went through Katrina here help those we love in Joplin! I know God has plans that are so much bigger than any of us. I remember in BSF talking about how we can see this tiny little bit, but our God can see everything!

It was all i could do to not sit at the computer for the past 2 weeks non stop. We went to Ft Walton Beach for a family mini vacation. it was so fun! We all needed the getaway....we are home now. we have been having VBS at a local church that Debbie(my MIL)is doing crafts, so I have been helping her. The kids and I will be heading to Joplin on June 17th to deliver items as well as visit with friends. We can't wait to be there and lend hands where we can!!!

I am praying for you Joplin, as is the rest of our family and our friends! We love you!!!!

Remembering

2011-04-13T23:52:00.003-05:00

I don't have a ton of memories of my Mammy.

I used to dream about this fire place, it was in the middle of the room-like, you could run around it. I was wearing a long dress, my little sister had one on that matched. We were standing on the fire place singing. We laughed, everyone laughed. We were happy.

I always thought it was a dream. Until I asked my mom about it. It was REAL!!!

It was a real memory that I had stuffed away and kept revisiting.

I remember my mom always telling me I was just like my Mammy. BUT, I didn't know my Mammy(I knew her when I was little, but didn't have many memories). Until 1991. I was married to Chad-he had just come home from Desert Storm. We went to Mammy and Papa's house. I remember the stone house-I passed it every so often on a trip to a friends before I even knew she lived there and also got pumpkins at the Pumpkin Patch next door. I remember walking in and crying as she hugged me so very tight. We talked so long. We ate. We laughed. We cried. My father came-I didn't know him either. Is it strange that I was more excited to meet my Mammy than my father?(that is another entire post!) I also found out I had other siblings-3 that I knew of then...2 sisters and a BROTHER!!! they were very young.

We would visit both Mammy and Robert and the kids from time to time.

I remember crying to Mammy after my divorce from Chad. She listened. We ate, we laughed, we cried.

I moved away and lost touch.

When I moved back in 2001, I visited Mammy. She came to the hospital when I had Gabi-it was a sweet moment for my Mammy to be there...she had missed so much of my life.

I sent cards, called and didn't visit near as I should have.

Mammy became ill. She was in a nursing home. I couldn't bring myself to go. Until a weekend helping with our youth. They baked cookies and ended up taking them to members of our church-they were in the same nursing home as my Mammy. I found her room and oh, we laughed, we cried and we hugged.

When Mom got sick last year and ended up in the nursing home for rehab, she ended up down the hall from Mammy. We would go and sit with her...some times, she talked. Other times, she didn't. We always held her hands.

I am so thankful for those special times when I could just sit with her and soak in her presence. She wasn't herself in the nursing home-her illness took that from her.

Mammy passed away Sunday night-at 11:11 pm. My mom's favorite time. coincidence? I think not! every time I have looked at that number for years, I have thought of my momma. Now it will remind me of a woman who loved so deep that it must have hurt.

I know that Heaven is rejoicing and the celebration must be so amazing. I know she is loving my babies who I never got to meet and that she got to meet my daddy who raised me. I know that Mammy is sitting at our Saviors feet. That is where she wanted to be.

I didn't get to go back to Joplin for the services. Daniel and I just felt it wasn't a good idea. We have had some adjustment issues with the kids, as well as they are out all next week for Spring Break, so we decided to stay here. Mammy would be proud of that decision-putting family first. She always did.

Mammy, You left an impression in my life that no one can change or take away. Thank you for loving my Momma when she was a young woman, starting her life and becoming a mother. You made a huge impact on her and the way she raised us. You may be gone, but you will be at the entrance to Heaven waiting when Jesus calls me home and I can hug you once again.

Heaven is lucky

2011-04-10T23:42:00.001-05:00

to have my Mammy. She passed away this evening.

please pray for our family during this time.

Happy to know she is with Jesus, but sad for our loss....

2011-04-06T13:31:00.003-05:00

So, let's see...where to start.

I guess that it would be good to go back to when we came down to MS for New Year's to celebrate Christmas...

We came down and we knew coming in that the family would talk to us about moving back down here-just like every time we would visit. This time, however, my heart was different in the discussions and I was open to listening to them. Debbie(my MIL) and Donnie(my FIL) had moved in with Grams(Debbie's mom)and they had a double wide trailer sitting with no one living in it, so we would not have rent or a house payment at all. Debbie said that God gave her a word in church on Sunday. She said that the kids needed a grandpa. I knew they were missing out on this, but never really thought about it much. Lots of little things were said and then one night when Daniel and I were out on the porch, I told him that I wold be obedient to whatever God told him to do-move or stay, I would obey them and submit to the decision. Daniel ended up getting sick just before leaving so we left so we stayed an extra day. We got home and Daniel stayed home another day from work. I went in to check and see how he was doing and he was on the computer loooking for jobs in the area. I asked him if he had looked at Cable One and he had not, so he went to it and there was an opening for a job. He sent in his resume and they guy in charge was excited and wanted him immediatley...however his boss was a little hesitant to give him a date he could be done. I started getting boxes and packing what I could. We got a date and reserved the truck for moving and the kids were all so excited. I packed as much as I could. My mom decided that she didn't want to move and she moved in with Misty-that was a hard, hard day. I know my sister was going to do a great job taking care of her, but I missed her so much.

The last day of school was so hard. I cried when I dropped the kids off at school. I was blessed with Staecy, Hal and Zach coming over to help me finish packing on Friday while I ran errands. When picking the kids up, I was in Piper's class and Angie came in telling me that I needed to get to Logan's class and she finished packing up Piper's items. I was not prepared for the tears being shed in Logan's class room. That is when it hit me that we were really moving away. I did my best and got all the kids loaded up and went to get Dawson. It was a crazy day to say the least.

We decided to not pack at all on Friday night like we had planned and to not leave until Monday after we wrapped some thngs up, so that gave us a little more time.

Daniel got off work and we were able to go and pick up the Penske truck up. We rushed home and got cleaned up and ready to go to the 'Farewell' party at FP North for us. We ran to the Bushnell's for dinner first, ate really fast then, got to our party. We were so blessed to see so many of our friends come out to see us before we left! I did really good and didn't cry. Daniel did have some tears when a dear friend prayed over him and the boys. that was a special moment.

Sat, we got up and started the day off with breakfast with Shawnda and Vince. We have been so blessed by the friendships we have in JoMo. We then went to the house and got the truck to go to our storage unit and loaded all of it into the truck-I didn't realize how much we had in there!!! So then we went to the house and met up with friends who were going to help us pack up the truck. We packed all of the big items up and started on boxes and I was freaking out more than a little bit! I knew it wasn't all going to fit and I wasn't sure what to do...then came the moment when we were eating pizza for lunch and they were telling me I needed to figure out what I really wanted of what was left so they could be sure to get all of that in! I ran out of the room and cried. Steven B. came in and was telling me it was just stuff. I knew that, but it was my stuff and I was moving far away and it was all just too much! We decided we needed a new bed anyway and put it in the dumpster as well as the kitchen table that was really too small for our family. We also put a few odds and ends pieces of furniture that was old and needed replacing out there. Shortly after, my MIL called and we were chatting and I asked her if she still had the king bed in her old room so we could use it and she told me someone had JUST picked it up...I about lost it! oh well...it was JUST a bed, right?? they also took the kitchen table. ugh. we would survive. So we finished up most of the stuff and the only items were left in the living room. It seemed so strange to not have anything in what had been out home for 10 years! The girls had never known anything else. It was bitterweet. We left and went to church for the last time, then we went to dinner with our LifeGroup at DelRio's. it was so nice! Then we went and stayed with Stacey and Hal for the night. We had lunch plans with my little sister/Gene and my mom, so we went out there and just hung out. it was a good day. Daniel and I went back over Sunday night to finish-we got it all out and as I was vaccumming, I was praying for the family that would live there next. That they would have as many happy memories as we had, that they would know love in those walls...you get the idea. Then i went next door to talk to Ms Claudine and tell her goodbye and found out she and her daughter were moving in there!!! I was so tickeled that I knew who I had prayed for!!! We went back to Stacey and Hal's place and tried to get some sleep.

Monday came and there were major winter storms blowing in. We had some thngs to get done in the am and planned on leaving about 12 or 1. We were able to roll out at about 1PM. We knew we would have to stop-we had no idea where yet, just that we hoped to make it to Memphis. As we left town, it was SOOOOOO very foggy. it stayed that way past Fayettville and into Little Rock, we had rain :O( it was not fun to drive in. One boy rode with Daniel and one with me to help with the girls needs...then my windshield wipers went crazy and wouldn't go down!!! we stopped for gas and potty and then for dinner. We made it to Grenada-I could not go any further!!! It was raining so much and my eyes were getting tired. We pulled into Motel 6 and they only had 2 rooms with 2 double beds, so we had to each have 2 kids-i took the girls and he took the boys. It rained all night and long into the next day! We went to some little place called Huddle House for breakfast and I about died when the waitress asked Piper if she wanted grits and she asked what grits were!!!! babababahahahah

We continued on our trip-in the rain...ugh, I was so very sick of the rain. We got past Jackson and it got really bad-so bad that we pulled over for a bit to let it ease up.

We got into town late Tuesday afternoon. We didn't do anything but sit until Wed am, when we had to unload the truck because we had to return it. We got it done and got the truck returned. We did NOTHING on Thursday as we were just so beat.

By this time, Joplin had over 20 inches of snow and we were so happy we were not there. We didn't go until Friday to enroll the kids in school-figured no biggie, they would not have been in school anyway if we had not been moving. Well, that was it's own mess. I had called to get info and find out what school the kids would be attending. I also asked if they would need a Form 121(a special MS shot record when shots have been given in other states)Nope they told me, just bring the shot record with you and 2 forms of ID with your MS address, so we had to type up a letter saying Daniel's parents own the home and get our drivers license changed over, not a biggie, right...not so fast. after getting the letter typed up and NOTARIZED, it doesn't have an end date as to when we will be living in the home-well, because this is now our HOME, why would we put an end date???. SO 2 trips to the bank for notery, 2 trips to DMV for our licenses, now on to school, where, guess what, they have to have the forms and you have to go to the health dept for that. So, we head to the health dept and sign in, only to find that the boys need shots. So, I have to return on Monday, it is too late to get back with the kids-who were not yet with us at this point! go back on Monday, Dawson has to have a shot, but they don't want to do Logan's because, well, we don't have a full shot record to show what he has had, I have to get a copy from the school-UGH!!! but, they give him a 30 day pass and sign a letter saying I will get it.

Go back to the school and get the girls signed up and tlhen we went home and ate, then went back to the boys school-they have one for K-2nd(Lower Elem.) and one for 3rd-6th(Upper Elem.)...we get there and they tell us that we are actually supposed to go to West Side-not South Side but that 1st and 5th are full and we have a choice-all at this school or 2 at each school. um, we have been through enough changes this week, we will stick with one school!!! Got them all enrolled to start on Tuesday.

SO, for now, that is the start.....

WOO HOO!!!!

2011-01-23T18:24:00.002-06:00

we are moving!!!

We are moving to the south-MISSISSIPPI....
30 minutes from the beach,
a promotion and good raise,
a free home,
family next door and around town,
kids cousins are all there...

We are so excited!!!

I have packed 98% of the girls and boys rooms, both hall closets, the computer desk, the Tupperware, all the books(yep, just ask Logan-who needed a book to read for school and I had already packed them!!), a few other items....
this week I will be very busy packing and spending time with friends!
we know there will be times when we miss our life here, but we also know we are being obedient to God and He will take care of all of the details. We know where the kids will be going to school(ps, they wear uniforms in the public school and I am BEYOND excited1), we have a church we want to try out, the beach is 30 minutes away, I found a fitness center with an outside pool similar to Rosedale here in Joplin that we were members of, the boys sign up for baseball the week we get there, found a dance studio for the girls, looked at the grocery store ads for down there...

SO, I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on and that I will not even be thinking about the blog for a couple of weeks, but have been storing up some sweet photos that I took!!!
Hope your January is going well!!!

I didn't even hold up to posting....

2010-12-26T20:08:00.002-06:00

BUT, it is because everyone in my stinking house keeps getting sick!!! I am ready for it to move on already.

I hope you each had a great day filled with family and fun and love!
My little sister and Gene came over on Christmas Eve and we had some yummy snacks....cookies that the kids had made and decorated, cupcakes I had made and the kids iced, sausage/cheese/crackers, salsa and chips, mimosas(my first try and it wasn't bad, but lets put LOTS of OJ in there and not much champagne, ok?!-Misty brought these as a surprise!)
Daniel and I had MOST of the gifts wrapped by noon and then we were finished by 9pm, but the kids DID NOT want to go to bed!!! ugh. So, when the kids were woken up by Dawson at 5, we didn't let them get up!!! LOL...well, I'm not a morning person, remember??? they were so funny though. they were marching in the hall like soldiers(maybe they were dreaming it was NutCracker performance again?)jumping on our bed, but by 5:30, they had made a little pallet in the hall and were sound asleep..in fact, we had a hard time waking up Dawson!
We cut way back this year...they just didn't need anything really. so they each got 1 thing by themselves and 2 for the boys/girls combined. they were more than happy.
um, I got 27(yes, you read that right)cookbooks!!! HAHAHA, guess someone is saying something...either, they are tired of the same things or they want me to use less boxed food :o) They are very cool cookbooks, so it should be exciting!
Then we went to service at church. It was amazing. God was in that place...not that He isn't always, but wow it was a great service. Then we went and looked at some lights and came home.
Today has been VERY laid back...most of us didn't get dressed today!!! Daniel is not feeling well, Gabi is still very stuffy with a crazy cough and Piper has a yucky cough. Mom seems to be on the mend, but when she coughs, I can hear all the gunk in her. So, we had some turkey and noodles for dinner. OH MY, they were so good!!!
now the kids are all playing and I am sitting here, playing on the computer, Danie is getting ready to go to bed...I can't believe that the weekend is over. The last 3 days has gone so fast. sigh.
I pray that each of you had an amazing CHRISTmas and that you have a wonderful 2011!!

huh, I wonder if I can do it?

2010-12-01T10:33:00.002-06:00

I want to challenge myself-and you...
lets see if we can blog everyday in December? think we can?
maybe even add a picture each day...

I know it is a busy month, but we don't want to rush by and stay so busy that we can't remember what we did last week!

So, who's in????

a new giveaway!

2010-12-01T09:33:00.000-06:00

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com

go check it out...like, NOW!!!

check out this giveaway!

2010-11-30T23:30:00.001-06:00

http://naptimegiveaways.blogspot.com/

turns, twists and dips...this crazy life

2010-11-28T22:25:00.002-06:00

This holiday has been good.
Daniel was on call, so he was gone a lot and we ate really late, but since everyone has been sick, it wasn't so bad.
He has worked a lot of overtime this week-like 22 hours.
I cooked, yep, me, most of our Thanksgiving dinner! wowsers, it was crazy busy, but it tasted great!!!!
Church and life group were wonderful!!! played some Scrabble and just hung out.
Today we had ballet practice in Miami. I ended up called away for a family emergency.
It has been the hardest mommy moment in my life.
I am not yet ready to share everything about it, please pray for our family. God knows already. He in in this situation and I am leaving it for Him.
SO, check it out!
http://www.jennysimmons.com/2010/11/the-winners-are.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+jennysimmons+%28Jenny%27s+Blog%29

I won!!! I enter a lot of things, a lot of times just for fun, because I like to see what others have to say as well. I was SO excited to get an Email from Jenny! I love reading her blog! THANK YOU JENNY for choosing me~us, our family.

I hope all of you had an amazing holiday with family.
Time to decorate for Christmas time!!

I have only purchase one gift so far and have not a single clue or idea what else to do. sigh.

it has been a long day, I am going to try to lay down and sleep....
HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!!

November-I wasn't ready for you,

2010-11-01T17:42:00.003-05:00

But, here you are.
I welcomed you in by staying in and doing household stuff.
Laundry,
dishes,
coupons,
hot tea,
soup and watching a movie!

I love this time of year for yummy breads and soups.
Do you have a recipe you should share with me?

Halloween was a blast!
Well, the whole weekend was.
Sat we had Nutcracker practice. Then we raked and picked up sticks in a friends yard. Then we set fire to those sticks and leaves and roasted marshmallows and watched our kiddos delirious with happiness. Then church(Dawson had a bonfire for youth group)and then fellowship. Sunday we vegged-as in slept in! Then I baked cupcakes, dressed girls and did hair and we headed out for our trunk or treat before the trick or treating! It was so fun. We had a great time handing out candy at the church, then headed out to a friends neighborhood and did a bit of door to door for good ole fashion trick or treating. Kids had a blast. Then we went back to our friends house where our LifeGroup ate and hung out! It was so nice. we were home at a decent hour and all kids in bed!

I have pictures to post, but for now, I better get dinner finished!

2010-09-06T23:39:00.002-05:00

PriceCutter-spent $3.94, saved $7.60...

Food4Less-spent $2.53, saved $3,00...

.Walgreens-spent $8.18, saved $37.48...

Total spent-$14.65 Total SAVED-$$48.08

2010-09-06T23:36:00.000-05:00

crazy week gone by

2010-08-30T19:41:00.002-05:00

Time is going by so fast since the kids have been in school.
I was so worried about being bored, but really, I have not had time to be bored.
I have been exercising and getting some things organized.
Taking care of mom, kids. You know, being the mom around here.

The girls start ballet next week~they are super excited!
Boys are going to play basketball and that doesn't start for a bit.

Tuesday I have some plans.
Wed I have some plans.
Seems strange that I can make plans and not worry about what to do with kids-they are all in school!!
I have to say, I have gotten used to it. I can get the house work done, groceries purchased, exercise, even hang with friends all while they are learning!

For tonight, I have to go and tuck the girls in for bed!

it was a good trip

2010-08-17T13:28:00.002-05:00

8 bags of Totino's Pizza Rolls
4 cans of Progresso Soup
3 bags Nature Valley Nut Clusters
3 bags Chex Mix
...1 bag Bugles
2 bags Quaker Rice Snacks
2 bottles V8 Veggie joice
3 bottles Sunny D
3 boxes Fruit Gushers
2 boxes Fruit by the Foot
3 boxes Hamburger Helper
2 Old El Paso Enchilada Kit
2 Old El Paso Taco Kit
3 boxes Nature valley Granola Bars
3 boxes Nature Valley Granola Thins
2 boxes Chex Treat Bars
2 boxes Fiber One Bars
6 boxes Toaster Strudels
2 Tubs Kroger Ice Cream
2 Betty Crocker Warms Delights Minis
3 loaves bread*
family pack chicken thighs-mark down
family pack chicken legs-mark down
Pillsbury:
Ready to bake cookies-11 bags
8 Grands biscuits
2 French Loaves
8 Cinn rolls
2 Orange Rolls
6 Crescent Rolls
2 Bread Sticks
*no coupon-the only thing besides the chicken!!!
we spent $134.07
BUT we saved $185.97
WOO HOO!!!!!!

We used manufacture coupons on the items on sale, plus added the cellfire.com and Dillon's E-coupons...it was so fun watching the bill go down!!!

Piper picking out her adorable back pack~
Dawson when he got his new cell phone and he was SOOO excited!!!

Piper was being a gansta :o)

The kids lemonade stand...where they made like close to $10 in less than an hour!!!

sweet sleep

2010-08-16T11:28:00.002-05:00

How we will miss you....I mean, we could go to bed earlier, like when we put the kids down, but really, how much fun is that?? NONE. So, today was the last day that the kids and I were able to sleep in. I woke, but just laid in bed listening to the girls(who had joined us in the night)deep breathing and Piper sucking those little fingers...the sweetness of the moment was not lost on me.

I was blessed so much with my 5 children. Did I deserve it? nope. Am I grateful? yep. I have been entrusted with their lives and could not be happier or more scared to have the privilege. I can remember when Daniel and I were told we would never have children in '97. That was heartbreaking. I had always wanted nothing more than to be a momma. I tried desperately to get pregnant in my first marriage and failed. I can remember when I was sick in Feb '98, Daniel told me to get a Dr appt that I was pregnant. I thought he was crazy. We went in and I will never forget the lab tech saying 'Congratulations'. I was STUNNED!! Daniel drove like a grandpa when we left!!! He knew every time I was pregnant before I even did a test. He just knew. We went on to have 6 pregnancies and 4 births and an adoption. God is so good.

I make daily mistakes as a parent-who doesn't. BUT, I apologize and they know I love them. I want them to know that even when they mess up, we love them-unconditionally. I am happy that I share parenting with Daniel, even when we disagree-often-on how to handle things. It is a learning process just like anything else.

It is almost lunch time and I am still sitting here in my jammies and my robe. Only a couple kids have gotten dressed....we have hair cuts at 2 and I WILL be taking pictures....girls are playing house, Dawson is on the computer and Logan is playing the Wii...might not last long....need to empty the dishwasher and change out the laundry. Yep, this parenting gig sure keeps me busy!!!!

the final days of summer

2010-08-15T22:14:00.003-05:00

are coming to an end as school quickly approaches us.
They start school in 3 days, which means 2 days left with them.
ALL of them are going.
It will just be me and Mom here each day!
We will coupon, talk, watch tv.
She will sleep in her chair, I will make bows.

I quit my part time job, so with all of them in school, I will needing to make a little income, so I have decided with a closet full of bow making materials, that I need to resume making of the bow...maybe add in a few other things. We think we have a new name, but I am not ready to share it yet.

The girls had their final swim lesson today and they did great! Piper even put her face in the water with NO goggles on!! So proud of her. Gabi is like a little fish-she loves the water and just swimming and diving in general. Today, Daddy and the boys joined us after lessons and we swam and played. Daddy helped Gabi go to the very bottom of the deep end...she laughed in the water and bubbles just made their way to the top where I was watching. We laid on our lounge chairs and read while soaking up the sun. Then Daddy lit the grill and we cooked some hot dogs and had a late lunch...everyone sat and chatted and then, the kids jumped back in the pool and we blew up our rafts and floated and chatted about what the school year will hold. Dances, sports, ballet, homework, new friends, fun. It is sure to be a year of even more changes.

Changes have been many this summer for us. We have continued with our counseling as a couple and as individuals. It is so helpful to have someone listen and tell us we are not either 'wrong', but we just need to listen to each other, that we are heading toward the same goals, but we just think we should be getting there differently :o) Mom living with us has had it's ups and downs, but I know this is what God has for this season of our life. We go back to the pulm. specialist this week, so I hope we get a good report. Dawson got his phone-we told him when he was going into middle school, he would get it, so he has text non stop the past few days..BUT we take it at night and we can see everything he is doing online! Logan, Gabi and Piper will all be at the same school...that seems crazy! 12 years with little ones home and now they are all off to school. Bring on the kleenex....this momma might not do so well on Wed!

that is a wrap....for now.

what never was.

2010-08-06T04:11:00.003-05:00

I want to apologize for any rude comments that anyone saw on my blog.
They have been deleted.
For what it is worth, I did not sleep with anyone's husband-period.
I made a stupid decision to talk to a man who was not my husband.
Poor choice-I know.
I am a grown Christian woman and I have apologized for my actions.
The ones I need forgiveness from have forgiven me-God and my husband.
I can't make anyone else let it go.
Here is the deal, I am human, I make mistakes and I learn from them.
for us, Life is moving forward, we make a choice not to hold onto the past, but to learn from it and be better people. I have been on the opposite side of this situation and I understand how bad it sucks. I had to let it go. It would have eaten me up.
I can say that my life is not terrible, I don't deserve a terrible life. I will keep on living life with my family and God at the center. We will strive to be better each day.
I hope you are all enjoying the rest of the time with your children before school starts!
I know we have had a fabulous summer and I think the kids are excited to get back into a routine of school!

busy June, but LOVING IT!!!

2010-06-10T22:14:00.003-05:00

Wow, school ended and we got sooo very busy. We have had baseball 4 nights a week...we had the tournament one weekend, swimming and the zoo the next...just enjoying being a family.

I missed the kids so much during all my surgeries and recovery. I went to the Dr yesterday and was released!!! It was a long 9 weeks and we are still working out the hormone issues with medicine, but I feel so much better. I do get tired quickly, but I am happy to be able to take care of the family again. Funny that I was so very excited for the break, but wow, after a few weeks, I was so very ready to take it on and get back to the craziness of our family.

On a sad note, Izzy has decided to move out. She said, 'she didn't like the situation, here or school and she couldn't be herself here.'(her words, not mine) She said she had friends she could stay with and didn't want to end things with us. We were all blindsided. Or at least I was. We had told her at Easter if she moved again, she would not be able to come back. It is too hard on the other 4 children and we have to still look out for them, even when she doesn't want us to. They are hurting and it is sad that it has come to this. Izzy is blaming me for all of it, but I know my heart and so does God. I pray she will be safe and take care of herself. This isn't how Daniel and I pictured life after adoption, but this is where we are. I have a peace from God that we are doing the best thing for the rest of the family. Life goes on. She may have to fall really hard to learn a lesson. We did everything we could to give her a good loving family life. Did Daniel and I make mistakes along the way? you bet we did. Did we give it our very best? yes. Do we love her just as we love the other 4? yes. If it were one of the other 4 children doing the same thing, would we feel the same way? YES. I will not let someone disrespect us in our home.

This past year has been very hard for Daniel and I. We BOTH made mistakes that had the potential to destroy our marriage. We decided that would turn back to God and we will work toward a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage. It would have been so much easier to do it the 'world's way' and get a divorce. Is it tough? oh yeah. Is it worth it? yes. Is our family worth it? yes. I love Daniel and I know he loves me. We lost track of that in the midst of raising 5 kids and just trying to survive some days. Are there days it is hard to like him/myself? oh yeah, but I know that I love him in a way that I have/will never love another. This is the man that God chose for me to share my forever with and I am excited that he wants to share his with me. I am thankful for a forgiving, merciful God who loves us regardless of the sin we are living in and helps us to get beyond it. We are going to counseling separately and as a couple. We are blessed to have found AMAZING Christian counselors. I know that God placed them in our life for a special reason. We will NOT be a statistic. We will celebrate our 12 year anniversary this year and I can't wait for the 50th!!!! easy-NO, worth it? OH YEAH.

Well, it is late, I need to get some rest...Dawson has an orthodontist appt on Friday and then we have a game on Friday night. Looking forward to the weekend with the family...it is sure to be busy, but fun!!

picture heavy...trying to catch up....

2010-06-03T14:10:00.007-05:00

5th grade graduation

some fun on the sidewalk, made by 5th grade
field trip...park/mc d's...
mmm, hot fudge
4th grade trip to park/mc d's
sweet friends
my first outing...kindergarden trip to park/mc d's
ballet recital-flowers from brothers
Piper's class
Gabi's tap...showing some attitude!!
Daddy with his little girls....
day one of recital...how cute...
mothers day, breakfast in bed
Dawson baseball...

Logan baseball....
girls after Awana program....
so, that is some of it, I will make another post to catch up on the rest...

2010-05-19T11:15:00.001-05:00

Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives that we touch-author unknown.

fun giveaway...

2010-05-14T17:23:00.002-05:00

you have to go over to Life as a CEO and check out the giveaway!!!

http://www.lifeasaceo.com/2010/05/kidorable-review-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-2616

very cute kids gear :o)

2010-05-09T22:09:00.001-05:00

What a great Mothers Day!!

2010-05-08T17:40:00.003-05:00

A Mother's Declarations
What I Can and Cannot Do for You.

I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.

I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.
I can tell you about drink, but I cannot say 'no' for you.

I can warn you about drugs, but I cannot prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.
I can love you as a child, but I cannot place you in God's family.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Jesus your Lord.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.

Written by Anne Geddes

Round 2

2010-05-07T18:30:00.003-05:00

So, last Thursday, I woke up with a lot of pain in my lower left back.
Dealt with it all day.
Thursday night, I was hurting so very badly, I was sitting at the edge of the bed sobbing.
We tried laying on my side(which still hurt due to my surgery), a heating pad, went back up on pain meds. Nothing helped. Friday was worse. I could barely move. I should have called my Dr office, but I didn't. By 6PM, I was just sobbing. Daniel had taken the kids to the school carnival. I text a friend who is a Dr, just to get her opinion. She said, you just had surgery, you need to call the Dr who did your surgery right away. So, I called the hospital(that is how it works to get the on call Dr) and talked to the on call. She was very concerned and told me to go straight to the ER. So, I called Daniel and he handed all 5 kids off to a very good friend(Thank you J)and came home where I had since gotten dressed-as in not my pj's. We went straight in. The Dr had called, it still took forever because there had been a few ambulances in just before we got there. They took me back and did a urine test and cultures since I had been diagnosed with a bladder infection on Monday. Gone. So, they started an IV, gave me Morphine and sent me for a CT scan. They were thinking I might have a kidney stone. So, they come back and tell me, no, you don't have a kidney stone, but it looks as if you have a very large cyst on the lone left ovary. They took me for a pelvic ultrasound, but gave me more Morphine before going...good thing, I couldn't have taken the pressure of the test if they hadn't. They come back in, Dr says they are admitting me and yes, I have an extremely large cyst and they will decide in the am when my regular Dr comes in if they want to do surgery. Up the Morphine! Took them a while to get me into a room, but they did and I got shots in my IV of Morphine every hour. So, my Dr came in and we were trying to avoid surgery because, well, I had just had major surgery. So, we were trying pain control. All day I got Morphine every hour. I was loopy. She came back in the am and we decided together to try to go to pills and see how I did. If the pain went back up, I would have surgery in the afternoon. Well, the pain got so bad within the hour, I called the nurse and she came in and reminded me I would be going in for surgery if she gave me the Morphine. I understood. I could NOT take the pain any longer. So, the scheduled me to go in at 1Pm and have the cyst removed.

DR tried to go in and do it by laproscope but were unable to get through the scar tissue. Well, when they got in, it was not good. The scar tissue and adhesion's were so bad. My Dr called in another Gyno and a general surgeon! The ovary was the size of an orange. um, crazy! BUT, part of the ovary was attached to the ureter, so they had to leave a 'reminent' of the ovary(they don't know if it will be enough to provide hormones). The general surgeon did repair and reconstruction on my bowels. They checked everything before being done and closing me up. The Dr told Daniel that it would be life threatening if they went in again. well, that is not scary at all.....wrong!

So, I asked for ice chips and I couldn't have them(because of the work on the bowels) I remember the elevator ride was bumpy. I remember getting into my bed in the room from the operating bed. I had a Morphine pump until I got out on Tuesday-every 15 minutes I got a dose of good pain meds. I got up and walked Monday mid morning. It hurt like the dickens! We had a little problem with my bladder not wanting to wake up after they took the catheter out! That was a bit nerve wracking. But, I walked several time, ate my liquid diet and then tried to sleep. Sleep is really hard to come by in the hospital! Visited with all my friends who came by. Text with the ones who didn't. Watched a bit of TV. Monday night the kids came up with Daniel to visit. That was hard. They are just ready for me to be back to my normal self....me too. Tuesday morning, Dr came in and told me I was doing everything she wanted and that I would be going home!!!

Came home, have slept a ton, prayed a ton, watched a ton of tv and played on the computer. Went in today and got the staples removed from my incision. That was a bit painful, but it had to be done. I have one spot she wants me to watch to be sure that it doesn't get infected. I will go back June 3rd to be fully released. Until then, no driving, cleaning or such.

I am ready to get back to my life. I admit, I was looking forward to the break, but, I didn't intend for it to go on for almost 2 months by the time it was done. Daniel has stepped up and been wonderful in taking care of everything for me. Baseball season is in full swing, so it is really busy. Our friends and church family has stepped up and helped us out with meals, laundry, childcare for Piper, taking me to the Dr so Daniel won't have to miss work and just spending time with us. I have had lunch on my bed with several great friends and it means the world to me. I love all the cards I have gotten in the mail as well!

I will be a healthier, better mom/wife/friend when all of this is said and done. I will regain strength day by day and I will one day-not soon-look back and know that God was teaching me many things through this time.

Still have thoughts to share, but, I am tired now. Maybe over the weekend.

Tuesdays are not my favorite..

2010-04-27T22:45:00.002-05:00

ballet is on Tuesdays.
it is crazy.
Piper's class,
then Gabi's.
almost 3 hours of crazy...

I had missed several weeks due to surgery,
the girls-all of them, not just mine-were very excited to show me how much they had improved.
they even waited on me to get done talking to show me the routine!
they RAWKED it out...
I can't wait to see them all at recital, dressed up and dancing.
it will make all the crazy Tuesdays worth it!

my new meds are gross...
like, I have to hurry and take them so I can't taste the nasty taste that will be left in my mouth if it takes too long.
I did hang some clothes up today, so I tried to help-even though I wasn't really supposed to be doing it!

I had left of Jim Bob's from yesterdays lunch out with Stacey/Hal/Daniel for lunch today...
it was just as good as yesterday.

Piper stayed home with me for the first time today since surgery. That was tough. She just doesn't get why I can't do much since I am home. We are going to try one more day and see how it goes...if it still isn't working, she may have to go back to Nana's on Thursday, but, we shall see.

I started reading a Kristen Billerbeck book-Trophey Wife's Club....so far it seems good...we shall see.

the kids got spring pictures back...not the best ever, but I will get one sheet of each and send the rest back.

Speaking of school...I can't believe it is almost over for the year! I am ready for summer...pool, lazy days, just enjoying my kids.

did I mention I lost another 8 pounds? yep, since surgery. makes me happy and almost 40 pounds down...yeah!!!

Piper turned 5 on Sunday. I can't even believe it. She is so little and my baby. She is smart as can be and lights up whatever room she is in. She loves to have fun and laugh. We celebrated by going to Garfield's for lunch, then we took her to Target to shop for shoes-well, flip flops. She found one pair there, so we moved on to Payless and she found two more...she was super happy and the kids asked if we can always just let them pick out the birthday gift~haha. She could go to school in the fall, but, we are not sure if we are going to send her yet. Just wait and see.

ok, so this is really random and full of nothing interesting. sorry. blame it on the medicines.

3 week check up

2010-04-26T13:13:00.002-05:00

didn't really go as expected...
but, par for the course.

I have a bladder infection.
I have a hematoma that is infected.
I am in meno pause....
you know you envy me!!!

so, I came home with 3 more prescriptions!
No driving, cleaning, etc for another 3 weeks...
As much as I was excited for a break, I am bored...

But, I have books to read
movies to watch,
bows to make,
internet to play on....
friends who care and come visit or take me places...

just a long day....

recovery

2010-04-20T18:42:00.002-05:00

this recovery thing seems to really be taking its toll out on me.
I can't drive.
I can't cook.
I can't clean.
I can't do much of anything.
I did manage to fold a small load of wash that Daniel had set on the love seat....
but by the time I was done, I was so stinking tired.
I sat and played Animal Crossing on the Wii, watched a couple shows, read....
now I am back in bed FREEZING due to my fever.
not a high one, just low enough that I don't have to call in.
all I really want is to feel better.
I KNOW it is a 6-8 week recovery fully.
I am not missing cleaning.
just being active.
I don't remember the last time I sat still this many days....um, never....
I have managed to go all day without taking a pain pill....
starting to hurt a tad, but I will wait to take them now until bedtime....
I plan on going to Logan's double header baseball game Wed night, if I feel ok....
Gabi was a bit whiny after school, Daniel just took her to pick up Piper and he text me a few minutes after leaving and said she was sleeping...oh yeah, forgot she went to bed late....
he went to pick up pizza....he needed a break poor guy.
he has been super through all of this....
I know it is hard for him to work all day AND then take care of all my chores(ya know the ones I do during the day)on top of cooking, getting kids to bath and everything else.
well, time to go rest a bit more.......

Prom and Fevers

2010-04-18T21:06:00.004-05:00

Prom was last night!! Izzy had a great time and I was happy to see her so happy.....

Today, Gabi learned to ride a bike....

my kids are growing up....

Daniel has worked very hard this weekend, making dinners, cleaning, shopping for undergarments for the prom for his teenage daughter, taking care of me and the 5 kids.....

the boys just hung out and were boys and Piper was cute as could be playing and spending her last Sunday being 4....

Today, I started running a fever again. I really just want to feel better. I want to have an inspirational post, but none are coming. I know that when all is said and done, I will feel better and have a better life, but right now, I am just tired. Tired of not feeling well, tired of life passing by my bedroom door. just tired.
I will call the dr in the am and see what they want to do.....but until then, I think I will sleep and rest and just be.

raw emotions

2010-04-15T21:43:00.002-05:00

wow, they are all over the place.
I have cried,
I have screamed,
I have sighed,
I have whined,
I have smiled,
I have just been.

this past week has been really hard.
being on meds that make me sleepy makes me irritable,
but if I don't take them, I am in pain.
I take them and I feel a tad woozy...
so, no happy medium here...

I cough and feel like I am busting a gut-literally.
it is sore, but I hold that pillow tight over my belly and cough for all I am worth..

I can't wait to shave my legs...
I mean it is spring.....
I want to wear my cute capri's, but i can't button them on my swollen belly yet....
I hope by next week, I can stop wearing my yoga/exercise pants all day.
not that I will be going anywhere that I need to dress nice, I mean the Dr. gets it.....
who by the way was so nice during this whole ordeal.
will need to bake some brownies and cookies for the office and take them in...
after I am able to stand for more than a few minutes at a time.

I see sitting here watching my family keep living life,
where we need changes,
what is working,
what is not.
We are by no means perfect.
we yell, scream, kids are mean to each other and ignore parents,
but one thing I know for sure...
all 5 of our kids know for a fact that we both love them with every breath we take.

I can't wait for the girls recital...
to cheer for the boys from deep in my belly at ball games....
to send Izzy off to her first prom Saturday evening....
memories in the making, even in the midst of our craziness....

hysterectomy

2010-04-11T21:53:00.002-05:00

I had it on Tuesday.
it was full abdominal.
I came home on Friday.
I am in lots of pain.
thinking I may have strep on top of it...

dr said it was one of the toughest cases she had seen
like digging through concrete
lots of scar tissue
lots of retraction
my right ovary that was taken at 19 years old, was partially there???
strange
uterus was adhered to my abdomen wall-again(happened when preg with Gabi)
soooo, she said to be prepared to have a bit longer recovery.
poop

missed both boys baseball tourneys this weekend.
lots going on this week, but I don't get to be involved.
was told to stay in bed.
ugh

moved to a rehab center

2010-03-20T21:47:00.003-05:00

It happened on Wed night.
She went to a nursing home-for rehab
She was not happy, I left in tears
I got in a fight with the head nurse the second night
they were just pushing her too fast and I had enough
then I fought with my hubby
I got mad at a sister,
I offered on Facebook that anyone wanting to fight, bring it on
I just needed another big fat cry

still waiting on a date for my surgery
that has been rough not knowing

The 2 little girls were in a wedding today..
in the snow and ice
with sandals and sleeveless dresses on
but it was beautiful
they are applying lip stick for a photo session with me-that they were just not feeling after the photos with the 'real' photographer!!!

A lot on my mind and in my heart.
it has been really hard to be gone from my kiddos, but I know that I am teaching them compassion and sacrifice...I would want them to be there for me in this situation...
I hope that they understand that....

I have been reading THE SHACK to her during the day...she likes that....
Need to go get real groceries, not just enough to get by...but that takes time that I have not head recently...

Catching up on some DVR'd shows...AI and such....

On the road again...

2010-03-13T16:26:00.003-06:00

to recovery that is...
Mom is tube free and only has an IV when they have to give her meds thru it!
She is sitting up in a chair and feeling better.
Still very low on energy, but they said it will build each day and she will get stronger.
She is eating solids now and physical therapy is coming in and working her a wee bit.

Today my hubby took the kids out to Misty and Gene's and had chili and played as well as fed the baby calfs.
I hear Dawson even drove uncle Gene's truck around the yard! yikes...

We are going to have pizza tonight, we told the kids we would eat in the waiting room and that Izzy could come back and see Grammy since she is the only one old enough!

Sunday will be full of me trying to catch up on some laundry and get ready for my surgery!! I may get some grocery shopping done Sunday night and then Monday spend the day with mom up here....I know it has been hard on the family to shuffle the schedule around, but at the same time, I hope they are learning that as our parents get older, sometimes we have to change our plans. (I really want them to love me enough to take care of me when I am older).

I read a very inspiring story here....
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/stephanie-nielson-intro-120609.html
to mom yesterday. I made us both cry and smile and laugh and have hope.
if you have some time to read it, go do it!!!!
Off to look for something else to read.....

slow and steady

2010-03-11T12:14:00.003-06:00

yesterday, we did most of our waiting in the ICU waiting room.
Today, I am sitting in mom's room watching her sleep.
As long as she doesn't try to talk to much I can stay in here as long as I want during the day.
They took her off the vent this am and she is just on a c-pap machine for help now.
Her x-rays were worse today than they were yesterday. That sucks. We both cried.
She said she just wanted me to be near her. Love her. She said she was sorry she didn't know that she was really sick and put us through this. I love her. She laughed when we told her she was being feisty and trying to pull out her tubes and such. I really do love her. She got frustrated because she couldn't hear the music on CMT over her machines. Oh how I love her.
I knew that I loved her, I mean she is my mom. I knew she was one of my best friends and I could tell her anything. I am not ready for her to go home. I may sometimes sound like I don't want to take care of her, but it brings my life such joy, that the thought of losing that special time with her cuts me deep. i want her to be healthy and laugh and even if I have to push her in that wheel chair, I want her to enjoy life with my family.
the nurse is in here, giving more meds. I am amazed by the staff here at Freeman. they are all so great to deal with. even when they are so swamped. I mean, I see what they have to do just for mom and I know the whole ICU is full of patients who need even more than she does. What an amazing profession.
Mom told me today, under no circumstnaces am I to cancel my surgery. haha, I told them she would be mad at me if I did, good thing I didn't listen to them, huh???
her blood sugar is high and they are going to get some more blood and do mouth hygiene and give her some insulin before rolling her to her back.
we forget the simple things like rolling to your back....she can't even do that right now.
God, I am asking for you to hear my prayer and restore my mom's health. not perfect, but so she can roll to her back on her own. so a machine doesn't have to breathe for her. Lord, thank you for letting the people you call to work on others in life threatening situations be obedient. Amen
I have had lots of fun reading up on some new blogs and such while in here....funny what you do to occupy your mind in the waiting room....

feisty one...

2010-03-10T12:50:00.002-06:00

she had a good night.
She is very feisty.
she was trying to take out her tube last night.
they had to tie her hands down.
then she was pulling on her pulse ox cord-
with EVERYTHING she had in her...
so they upped her sedation because she was getting so agitated.
I have been sitting with her for 20-30 minutes at a time...
they move her every two hours and clean her mouth as well.
it is hard to watch.
when she coughs, I am so afraid she is going to die.
her face turns deep purplish and it freaks me out a bit....
I am so not ready to lose my mom. She is one of my closest and very best friends. I tell her everything. we laugh and cry and get mad at each other, but I honestly think that we are as close as a mother and daughter can bed.
I am praying. Praying for her to recover, praying that she will pull through this. Praying I have the strength to make it whatever happens. I really had no idea she was this sick. I mean, I knew she was ill, but not so ill that they would have to tube her. It was one of the scariest moments of my life-maybe the very scariest ever. being pushed aside for the work to be done on her. I felt so alone. my sister was completely unaware what was happening as it was going on. The Dr later said she was sorry that she couldn't talk to me, but it had to be done right then. As I look at my mother laying in that bed, not able to breathe on her own, I realized just how very fast our lives can change or be taken away from us.
I just know she is going to pull through this and it will be a faint memory in a short time. THANK you to my friends for the prayers. Thank you for help with the children. Words can never tell you how much you mean.

I didn't see my day being this way

2010-03-09T19:12:00.004-06:00

I am feeling blue.

yesterday, my mom was not really being herself.
she was confused.
disoriented.
talking nonsense.
It got worse today.
after my lunch with Leetta, I had to FORCE her to go to the ER.(Leetta can tell you, she was fighting me every step of the way...to the point of telling me to wait for 12 hours to take her!!)
that, my friends is no easy task.
She was still in her night gown and was refusing to get dressed.
she did, but it was tough. she was shaking and she was having a hard time functioning and I was really worried about a stroke.
got her to the ER and they brought her right back.
her oxygen level WITH HER OXYGEN on was 70.
they asked me if the tank was on, um, yes, I had just put a new tank in and I did turn it on. the took us right back to a room. they were asking her questions and then she just kind of had a moment and her stats dropped again. the dr asked her if she would be ok with a breathing tube. she consented, which was good because I would have over ridden what she said since I have power of attorney. So, all these people start running around and they whisk me out of the room and I see people from all areas running to her room. Very scary. my younger sister was in the waiting room, they went out to get her, but never came back with her. I stood there and cried and prayed. finally the dr came to talk to me and as she did, my sister came back. mom's co2 lever was way high-like double the norm and she has pneumonia in her right lung. They put her in the ICU and have her heavily sedated...when we went in, she was trying to pull out the tube and talk....so they turned up her sedation even more. After much debating with my hubby and sister, I went home and got some much needed sleep-not much sleep, but I am back up here and had forgotten to post this....
hoping and praying she is on the path to recovery.

time flies...

2010-02-27T13:09:00.003-06:00

I have been under the weather for a couple weeks now.
Just can't seem to shake this sinus crud.
May have to break down and go to the Dr next week.
the cough is annoying everyone.

I got the phone call from the Dr that my surgery will be March 16th.
that is the week of Spring Break.
BOO.
But, she got sick and had to reschedule so much that it bumped me out.
So, Daniel is taking off the day of the surgery and then some the next week when I am out of the hospital.
Kids are all staying with friends the night of the surgery so he can stay at the hospital with me.
i am not so nervous about the surgery itself as the moods that are sure to come after...uh oh. brace yourself for it...it might get very bad.

Mom seems to be doing better. Not much, but enough that the Dr is not needing to see her every week. We had such a good time on Thursday when she had an appt with the pulmonologist...we also had to go to an office in the main hospital and we parked, took the 'tunnel' over to the main hospital and got lost in some office area of the hospital!! haha. then Daniel needed to pick up papers and brought me lunch so we sat in the lobby and talked and ate and just enjoyed being together. These are the times I love!!!

Then, I got an email from the youngest son's teacher. Seems he has some missing work...funny since I see him doing it and all. THEN, like really, 3 minutes later, my phone rang and it was the oldest teacher and he had gotten into some trouble with another child from his class-just for the record-DON'T GO ALONG WITH EVERYTHING YOUR FRIENDS SAY AND DO, IT MIGHT COME BACK TO GET YOU....MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!! we got it all worked out and we are on track again. oh, the day before the teenager came home with her hair markered in and her pants had drawings and writing all on them. sometimes I just wonder...do they listen at all???

Friday, I took Gabi and she got 2 fillings. She did great. Mouth seems to be a bit tender, but not so much she can't eat :o)

We got to hang out with some of our favorite people Friday night and eat homemade pizza and just be. I love getting to just hang out and be together, with no expectations and being able to be real-good bad and ugly. This a relationship that will always withstand anything and I am so thankful for that. Good, true friends whom both you and your spouse enjoy being around are hard to find, so when you do, make them so very special!!

Today we had a family meeting and set up a new chore and ticket system and them set them off to work. they did a good job. The girls room needs some TLC from the parents, plus our room is getting a makeover...one to look better and make it easier for me after surgery to get around it...did I mention that with the help of Sarah, I DEEP cleaned the kitchen-emptied out each cabinet and drawer..even the pantry. give away bags totaled 7, trash totaled at least 5. It looks great and we have managed to cook and eat and it is still clean 4 days later-I say that is a record!!!

So, yep, that is about all that is going on. nothing exciting and crazy. just being a mom, wife, daughter and friend. Keeps me busy, keeps me going. God is amazing the way He is working things out!

keylime

2010-02-17T08:03:00.005-06:00

Izzy got her nose pierced...

What a great way to start the day~~key lime cheesecake from one of my favorite local spots, Bella Peppers! Paired with my coffee to start the day.

Waiting to hear from the Dr the date for my hysterectomy. It will be in the next 2 weeks. We are happy that it will soon be done. I have had 4 c-sections and an ovary removed, so they are going in through the same incision and I will be in the hospital a few days, so Daniel is taking some time off work. I plan on getting some foods cooked and frozen to help him out and getting the house in order.

So, that is what is on tap. Now, I am going to go enjoy my coffee and key lime cheesecake!!!

surgery

2010-02-08T21:25:00.006-06:00

I just want to remind myself what i want to post about in the am, because well the meds have kicked in.....

so that was last week when I said I wanted to do this.....

I had the surgery on Monday.
check in at 8:30, surgery at 10:30.
got checked in, sitting in waiting area while Daniel prayed over me.
called me back and I got changed into some fabulous hospital attire.
got vitals all checked-excited that I had lost 2 more pounds.
went over history.
my friend, the anesthesiologist, who really is a friend, came in...left, came back and said they would indeed be giving me a general. I did NOT want to be awake at all and hear anything!
they were a little freaked that I had put a plastic stud in my nose after removing my nose stud :o)
that tickled me, so I told K, the friend and she said not to worry, if there was an emergency, she would be going for my throat, not my nose :oP
had to rinse my mouth with this awful mouth wash.
IV time...this is where I get nervous!!!
but, I was happy to get a numbing shot(which is only saline)so i didn't feel the needle for said IV at all...that made me happy.
they wheel me into the operation room, which was ice cold, but they have those nice warm blankets that they put on you. I was moving onto the operation table and flashed everyone. to make myself feel better, I just said, not like you are not getting ready to see my everything.
noticed the big screen where they would be watching what was going on, said as much and one of the -10- people I could see in the room, said nope, we are going to watch some tv while she does surgery :o) I remember K telling me to breathe regular, then to take a deep breath...um, I only remember that I did one time, then I woke up to the Dr telling me they were unable to do the procedure...I was still in main recovery and well, I cried. hard. like the I can't breathe because I am so upset. you go through all of this and then they can't do it. now, in my mind, I have only been out for a few minutes. not so. they had 'tried' to do the procedure for about an hour. Poor Daniel was in the waiting room scared because they said it would be 15 minutes. made me feel bad for him, the not knowing. Then, I had to pee....um, not happening on a bed pan! so, then eventually, they took me to secondary recovery and told me I was going to room 3, but well, there was a husband waiting and it was not my husband...he was gray haired and I am sure very nice, but alas he was not mine. ended up they put me in room 1. my hubby was there waiting and had talked to the dr, so he knew by this point. stayed for a bit, drank some nasty...um, flat diet pop. got dressed, wheeled me out to our van.
I remember coming home and just hurting. Laying down in our bed and hurting. Not sure if i was in real pain or sad pain that now, we have to go back and schedule a hysterectomy. but, I know there is an end in sight to the problems I have been having for so long now and I am ready. I mean, they said I would never have children-I have 5! I am blessed. the week was hard. Daniel had to go back to work on Tuesday, I couldn't drive, so Piper and I literally laid in my bed and watched tv. Wed was not much better. I still hurt so much. very early Thursday morning-like before the sun was up-I was freezing. Like shaking. I started running a fever. good thing Daniel can pop in and check on me and Piper, because I was really sick. Friday, the kids had 1/2 day of school and the younger 3 had parties. i went, then took mom to have blood work done....then dinner out with the family, then to purchase new shoes for the crew...by the time we were done, I was so tired. beat. done. but, sleep would not come. ugh....hate when that happens. the pain is getting less each day. that is always nice.

we go in on Monday to talk about when the surgery will be. the kids are out of school for Presidents day and hubby is off work. We are going to do a bit of deep cleaning around here during the day, then my appt, then I must grocery shop or the troops may turn on me!!!

GREAT sermon today at church....much that can be applied to our lives in parenting, loving our spouse and others. I am a mess today. I think I am getting a sinus infection because the right side of my face is swollen and hurts...even my eye.

Did take Izzy to get her nose pierced...looks great! I can't believe I have had mine a year.

well, late, but dinner just beeped...we ate at the mall at lunch and it was sooo good!

pre game/pre op

2010-02-06T18:28:00.002-06:00

So, I went to the dr this week and there was no mass!!! I was soo happy.
I do have a cyst, but not a large one.
I will have surgery on Monday~to have the lining of my uterus burned to help with my cycle.
As crazy as it sounds, I am really excited. Daniel took the day off to take care of me-and to grocery shop, because that was the day I was going to do a HUGE shopping trip.
I will let you know how the surgery works out....

SO, what about SUPER BOWL???
we are ready. I have sooo much food planned, that my kids are so excited. We have dips/chips/meats/sweets and POP...we never buy pop, so they were very excited to see me bring in several 2 liters :o)

Geaux SAINTS!!!!

Super Bowl weekend

2010-02-01T19:29:00.002-06:00

it is that time Daniel has been dreaming of for so very long...
I think we are going to just stay home.
I don't think I can handle the stress of anyone talking during this game!
As long as I have known him-almost 13 years-he has been a Saint's fan.
This is exciting for the kids as well, they all love the same team.
So, I have been finding some recipes to make this weekend for our family party.
Martha Stewart has some great ideas on her site...
what are your favorites???
I know we will have a salsa and chips, BBQ wings, brats and hot dogs, cheesy fries...maybe even some cookies...
I know the kids are very excited!!!

welcome February!!!

2010-02-01T10:41:00.002-06:00

I just can't believe it is already February!

The last few month were like, um, strange.
like I was sleeping and just woke up.
That is a good thing.

The adoption is over.
That is nice.
Hard to call her Izzy, but we are all getting there.

Piper and I are not feeling well today,
great way to bring in the new month.

Piper is not going to be going back to preschool.
We just decided with me home full time, it was best for our family if she stays home with me and we save-use for something else-the money we would pay out for school.
She is very excited-so am I.
It is hard with 5 kids to make sure everyone gets individual attention.

Daniel's birthday is right around the corner,
so is Valentines.
what to do???

I think Piper and I are going to make some cute heart streamers for the living room and kitchen out of tissue hearts :o)

Very good sermon yesterday at church. John, you rock the Word of God!!!
However, if you could quit making all of your sermons based on my needs, that might be good-I find it hard to work on all of it at one time!!! LOL

Had a couple of birthday parties this weekend. One on Sat at the glow golf in the mall for the boys. We took the 3 girls to Garfields and had a bite to eat. That was nice.
Sunday, Piper had a party at Macaroo Gym. I had to work, so I didn't get to watch her, but I hear she had fun!

SO, I think I will veg with my girl on the couch and try to kick this cold!!!

Adoption Day!

2010-01-30T14:05:00.002-06:00

Adoption

2010-01-26T09:59:00.002-06:00

Wow, I can't believe it is here!

I can remember sitting in the theater to watch a movie with my sister(tho one that used to be in front of 15th street Walmart)and feeling her kick for the first time.

I remember being there when she was born. Her beauty took my breath away.
She would stay with Chad(ex husband)and I.
I REMEMBER telling her on the first night she stayed with us as an infant, "Sweet little one, I wish you were mine. I want to be your mommy."
Now, that wish is a reality.
I am truly amazed at the young woman I see emerging before my eyes.
She has taught me that you CAN overcome.
You can change the way people see you.
I remember sitting in Chick-fil-a when I got the call.
wondering if this was good for our family.
I was not prepared for a teenager, but jumped in with both feet.
She sure did test me at times-like the day I had cereal and milk dripping from my hair.
She tested in major ways...I believe she was scared to death we would leave her and she wanted to do it first. Sounds a bit like me. people who don't know us, think I am her birth mother(or sister when I go to the high school).
We have so many of the same mannerisms it is a bit scary!
Today, I become her official mommy.
WOW.
I have no question that she is my child. I just hope that I can love her, teach her, help her be the very best she can be in the future. I will mess up, no doubt. I hope she can learn from me what unconditional love is. I hope she holds tight and lives life in a major way. There is no limit.
Izzabella-Rose I am so proud that you call me 'Mom'. Thank you for all you have taught me, have yet to teach me, all the inbetween. I wouldn't be the Mom I am today without you. I can't promise you life will be easy now, but I can promise that I will love you forever, no matter what. We have had a tough year and I know we can make it through anything that comes our way. I am here for you, no matter what. I love you.

breaking down the walls...

2010-01-20T22:06:00.003-06:00

when you have built them up for years-even when you didn't know you were doing it-is very tough. I am learning so much about myself...some I like, some, not so much.
I like that I am an open book and have no hidden agendas.
I am amazed that I have the ability to be the parent I want to be most of the time.
I like that I am surrounded by a great group of women who love me just for who I am.

I don't so much like change...not in a little way, in a very big way.
I tend to 'freak' out with making decisions-even where to go for dinner, but more importantly, life decisions are hard. I worry about who I hurt-past, present, future and it stays with me.
I don't like being told I need to do.............fill in the blank. I want to make my own decisions even if I mess up, it is my mess up. I want my past to make me a better person today. Not just be my past.

I like to talk, really, really like to talk...for hours. about everything and nothing. just talk. I want to really be heard, not just listened to. I want my feelings to be understood. I understand I change them a lot. It is a major coping mechanism I use to keep my walls up and not be hurt-again.

I would like to take a road trip just for fun, no plans, just go and see what you can find.
I love to go to drive thru windows and get Dt Dr Pepper, but I only like to go to places that have Styrofoam cups, not the plastic or paper ones. I am a picky eater...I have eaten more different food because Jill forced me to, but I am glad, because some of it I really love.
I love to sit at the pool and watch my kids play while I soak up the sun! I always feel better about myself when I have a tan...but, you will never catch my chubby body in a bikini(um, 4 c sections)I will stick to my 'mama' suits as the boys call them, you know, a little skirt with a cute tank :o) I used to be ashamed of my body-um, ok, I still am-but, I can run my fingers over the stretch marks and remember carrying all 4 of my kiddos and it makes it worth every single one of them.

I do not like flowers, they die and what a waste of money that is. I figure that money could be used for something else. plus, I have a black thumb.

I have gotten stuck in ruts with my hair, I love it long, but I get terrible headaches. I like it shorter, but I can't pull it up and I think it makes my face look fatter...

I am doing the "Breaking Free" study currently and wow, I now know why I have stayed away from it for so long. Dealing with the things that keep us captive is much harder than I thought...or maybe I just have a lot I need to deal with. either way, I plug along. I do it. I hope I become a better person because of it.

this may really make no sense and be all over the place, but it was on my mind yesterday as I walked and thought. I saw a crazy black and white striped bird...maybe it made me think about the fact that the world sees black and white. I like to see colors...but, our world has become so, I don't know, just black and white. Like, it is this way or that. anyway...

trust

2010-01-18T10:44:00.002-06:00

I have issues with trust.
I know that.
I learned not to trust at a very young age.
Men.
that is who I don't trust.
they hurt me from the time I was young.
in ways I may never know.
then I trusted without thinking.
it happened, my trust was again broken.
I don't know why this is.
I think about how I was raised,
to believe I am not worth it, not pretty enough, not smart enough.
lots of not enough's.
I want to believe the good in people, but I struggle.
When I push away, maybe I want a good push back.
I want to be fought for.
I want to know that it is real.
that I am worth it.
that I am lovable.
that I make your world better,
without me, you are empty.

it may not make sense, but this is how at this very moment I feel.
I know that I will get better-I am working on it.
I just want to open my heart and let you in,
but there is a wall that I can't seem to break down.
Help me.

I am doing the study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore and even though she promised it won't kill me, I am not so sure! wow, it will be a tough 11 weeks! I have so many things to learn. I am ready to do it, if for no other reason than to learn about my Father, who loves me regardless and for Him, I am enough. So thankful for that! I couldn't weather this storm with out Him.

2010-01-17T18:05:00.003-06:00

Depression hurts.
I am sad, I wanna sleep all the time.
I wanna wake up from what feels like a long nightmare.
I can't.

Order

2010-01-15T09:13:00.002-06:00

So, I have just been busy being a mom, helping my mom.
I have been trying to get things final for the adoption...almost there.

I have been reading so many blogs, talking about a word for the year.
My word, and I have thought about this A LOT, is going to be....

ORDER

in my home, my heart, my life.
important things first, the things that matter.
the little things that can wait, will.
I want to be the best I can be, the Woman that God has created in me.
I want to be aware of His presence each and every day, every moment He gives me.
The Path He chooses I KNOW is better than what I would choose for me.
I have a long way to go and lot to learn.
I have many things I could say I am sorry for.
I have made mistakes that have hurt others and myself.
Believe me when I say I am sorry.
I am human, I will make more mistakes.
Love me in spite of them, because of them.
Help me to become the person God sees in me.
I want to use 2010 to really grow and learn.
I want to learn to forgive.
those who hurt me intentionally and those who didn't realize they were doing it.
I want to work through my past where I hold hurt, shame, guilt.
It will not be easy, I know.
I have friends and family who will stay by me and who will pray with me.
I want to learn(and retain)this year.

I want to really learn how to use my camera,
start scrapbooking again,
make some adorable bows,
sew,
maybe even bake some.

I just want to be able to be the best me I can be and I know that starts with order.

2009-12-29T09:21:00.003-06:00

I can't believe this year is almost over.

I think the kids need to stop fighting.

I miss being out and about, even at the cemetery.

I made muffins, the stove is smoking(someone over baked pecan pie-not me-and it reeks).

I need to clean house, but my body will not obey me.

I have a post brewing in my head about this year.

Highs, lows, happy moments, sad moments, life changing moments.

I have a list of things I can use as resolutions, but really, do I ever stick to them?

I have a list of things I need/want to do in the new year...some of it I may share, some I may not.

Looking back on my post, the one in June where I was working on forgiveness....I have not made it very far. Need to get cracking on that one. I hit a roadblock and seemed to let a lot of things slide that I needed to get done. pair that with depression and well, I just failed to see things that I should have and I saw things that were not there. ugh.

I hate changes.. do you know that about me? I really do. even the thought of writing 2010 sends my head spinning!

well, the muffins I am cooking for breakfast are done and I better feed the crew....

something to think about

2009-12-26T11:10:00.001-06:00

http://www.incourage.me/

very thought provoking

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T09:54:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

I hope this day is all you hope for and more.

Daniel got a call and was out until after 1 am and I could not sleep.

When we put the kids to bed, it was sleeting and they woke up to a WHITE Christmas!
I don't know how many inches are out there, but at least 5 I think!!

I am sitting on my living room floor updating from my NEW LAPTOP!!!
we were not exchanging gifts since i quit my job, but, here I sit with on my lap!

I have to say, the kids were very patient when they woke up at 2:33AM!
then they woke Sammy up at5:30 and wanted to have presents!
We didn't do it until at least 9 am-late for us!
Everyone liked what they got I believe.
they each got a Wii game. I encourage them to play because, most of them are active games and they get exercise!(i sure may not get much with this thing! I will want to hang out and play on it all the time!)

I know I need to get up and get some things done, but, this seems like so much more fun!
I am sure it will wear off after a while, but for now, you can find me playing on here!

this has been a good morning and I just want to hang with my kids and enjoy the happiness in their eyes and the smiles on the precious faces!

Merry Christmas!!!!

2009-12-23T13:05:00.002-06:00

well, rain...you are NOT my friend.
Phone, you sure are :o)
I like getting unexpected calls from friends...
it makes the day seem brighter even with no sun.

the I'm Bored's have set in again today.
really, because i can think of many things to keep you busy!!

I want to enjoy them on break
they just don't see it!!
I really would do anything for my kids
refereeing is not what I was thinking, but today
that is what I am.

was going to bake cookies, but they can't get along to even eat lunch!!!
MOM, how did you do it with us? did we fight like this??
ugh.
Piper is watching Mamma Mia AGAIN...she is a musical lover :o)
but, it keeps her happy!!
oh, that and chocolate...she is her mama's girl..

I have more to say, I think, but, Logan wants the computer...so later....

2009-12-22T17:16:00.002-06:00

Christmas break always sneaks up on me-I mean I know it's coming-but I am never ready.

The kids still want to get up early(HELLO!!!-it is break!!!)
I want to sleep in.

then the food issue...
they can really eat,
like a lot....
must go get groceries at some point and restock :o(
not good to wait until just a few days before Christmas!

Keeping them busy is another job in it's self!
computer, games, tv, outside, cards, art supplies
we have it all, but guess what you hear???
Yep,
MOM, I'M BORED!!!
ugh...the dreaded 3 words...
so today we had a playdate.
11 kids and they were great.
as soon as we get home,
yep,
MOM, I'M BORED!!!
rinse, repeat....

We have finished all of our shopping.
need to wrap.
won't get done before Christmas Eve,
never does.
But, I need nothing from the stores ;o)

today the disposal went out,
Piper smashed her finger in the door,
and Dawson lost the spring in his braces making room for the other tooth...
so, I get to take him in on Monday...that will be fun with all of them out. NOT

not a lot else going on here....

2009-11-25T16:34:00.003-06:00

words are not coming to me.
I want them, but they are running away.
Pain is deep.
anger burns.
guilt rages.
Please pray for my family.

I may never be able to talk about what my family is going through at this time, but I do want to tell you I am THANKFUL for friends to help and pray and who love us regardless.

God knows our hearts and that, in the end is all that matters.

plugging along...

2009-11-05T16:26:00.002-06:00

some days have seemed to go on forever(usually the ones where I have had a sick child or am sick)

some days have gone by too fast-you know where you can just relax.

been working and cleaning and reading and being.
some days I want to crawl in my bed and sleep and have 0 interruptions, other days I don't want to be alone...can we all say "hello depression".

i know it hits at this time each year. I was prepared for it. It seems that it would be easier.
i think about losing my dad and a friend and yada, yada....I could go on...

but then there are things like pulling Gabi's first top tooth out last night and seeing the fear/excitement in her eyes when she saw blood and a tooth in the paper towel.

I want to be all rosy and there is nothing ever wrong, but there are things wrong. Like sick children and homeless people and pornography and it is everywhere, no matter what I am doing, it pops up all around me. I am aware, but beyond praying, I don't know that I can do much. I read blogs that inspire, I want to be one, but how does one get there??

so, even with all my blessings, you know, my 5 kids, my hubby, my van, my job, my church, my God, my friends...sometimes it is hard. Hard to know others are having a hard time. Hard to turn off emotions that get the best of us when someone is hurting. Hard to not be able to really help.

hmmm, I thought it would really help to get it off my chest, but not so much.

2009-10-27T17:17:00.002-05:00

I can't keep up!!!
working and being a full time mom/wife is so much harder than I ever thought!
KUDOS to all of you who have done this for years!
HOW do you do it???
I need as many secrets as I can get :o)
The van broke this week...getting it back today and so happy.
i can't imagine not having a car. i have so much to do.
This week is Halloween...need to get cracking on the costumes parts....
need to get candy and such for my class on Wed for our party
and for the kids for the parties at school....

so, we are still alive....
just really busy....
no promises to do any better any time soon.....

Menu Planning...

2009-10-19T21:45:00.002-05:00

This week I did two weeks of menus...
out of my new Taste Of Home Dinner on a Dime cookbook we will be having....
Ranchero Supper
Pork Chop Potato Dinner
Oregano lemon Chicken w/scallop potatoes
Black Bean nacho Bake
Italian Chicken Roll Ups
Shepard's Pie
hamburger Straganoff
Creamy Tomato soup w/ grilled cheese

old stand by's....
Race track Beans
pancakes
meatloaf w/ corn, mashed potatoes
Chicken Nuggets with french fries
Speg & bread
fish planks w/mac and cheese

For breakfast...(they repeat)
hot chocolate and toast
cereal
muffins
french toast sticks(home made)
pop tarts(Sundays)
oatmeal

for lunches, either left overs or sandwiches....

with all groceries purchased plus the 1/2 hog that we picked up this week, we spent just over $200....BUT, the1/2 hog was not used in any of the meals, so that will help with the budget for the next couple months....I will keep you posted....

another one bites the dust

2009-09-28T19:28:00.002-05:00

Logan is down with the Flu.
Dizzy.
Nauseated.
Hurting.
I hate when they hurt and I can't do anything to help them.
Daniel took him to Urgent Care.
Dr said it was a fast, strong positive test.
Poor Logan.
I will be staying home with him on Tuesday.
I think Daniel on Wed....
they said he will be out of school 7-10 days!
I have nothing to say to that...
in a separate post, I have a bunch of cute pictures!

on the mend

2009-09-24T17:32:00.002-05:00

I am feeling better.
I had a sick Dawson this week.
101 temp at school Tuesday.
finally fever free today.
He was a good citizen and didn't get to be at the assembly.
this month was Respect.
Proud of him!

read a sad story of a new mom(just brought a baby home from the hospital)who passed away.
Very sad.
http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/
The husband has a new infant. Pray for him to feel the presence of God.

Waiting on a visit from our case worker and then off to dinner for Sammy's birthday.
I have a bunch of cute pictures to post, but have yet to upload them.
thinking about getting an external hard drive to store the pictures on...any ideas???

more changes

2009-09-21T12:00:00.002-05:00

I cut 8 inches off of my hair...I have a picture, but I can't mess with it right now because I am sick.
I have sinusitis and bronchitis.
I feel crummy.
I want to go back to bed.
I want some hot tea and soup, and maybe bread.

My hubby stayed home to care for Piper who isn't feeling well either.
just got back from taking Sammy to the dr.
Now going to Walmart to get ???
I love that man!!!

I am going to curl back up on the couch and rest....

whoops...

2009-09-06T17:42:00.002-05:00

September rolled in with out me even blogging! The weather here has been great. I changed jobs and have been super busy. Long weekend was very welcome to me since I was so tired. In fact I just woke up from a nice long nap!!! I slept from 2-5:30!!! We have nothing going on this weekend. it is great!
Wednesday, Awana started and there was an accident at the church and I ended up at the ER with the child and his father. It ended up with him having 7 stitches. He is doing well, in fact, he was at Chuck E Cheese Thurs night!!
I changed jobs and went back to teaching pre school. I am very happy and thankful for the chance to do it again.
I don't have any pictures to share. I just wanted to share good news.
We are also looking for a house to move into.
YAYAYAYAY

Pre School started today!!!

2009-08-31T21:54:00.004-05:00

Piper started back to pre school today...loading up I didn't get the best face, but it got better as the morning progressed....

She ended up having a great day and was not happy when I drove up and I saw her say, "Oh, Crap." I think I better watch it...I know I say that when I am cooking!!!

Gabi had a great day and she even lost a tooth right after school! We went back in and got this amazing tooth to put the tooth in!!!

I also got a new job today...I will be going back to the pre school to work T/W/Th in a 'mostly' 3 year old class...some older 2's and some 4's who maybe just need a little more attention :o) I can handle that! I am so super excited! i know God's plans are so much bigger than ours :o)

For now, dishwasher is running, clothes are all washed/dryed/folded and I am going to bed!

Come on in, sit right down and lets have some fun!!!

2009-08-29T14:16:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, we did some recycling while out on Sunday....Dawson's class is in charge of this at school, so he asked me to make me to make a box and I did! Funny how much paper you throw away-I didn't realize it until I had the box!!

My kids are having friends in today to watch Wizards of Waverly Place and just play. We have lived here for 8 years(in October)and they just started asking. The same week we decide to move. That stinks. But, we don't know when/if we will find a place in the school district we want, so, while it lasts, I plan on enjoying every minute of it!

Daniel went to pick up pizza at a new place in town, so when he gets back, we will be partaking of some yummy cheese pizza!!!

I have spent the morning reading some blogs(I love to read all about others lives)and cleaning up all my bookmarks while the kids played with the neighbor kids. I was trying not to be over bearing, so I kept busy as they all played in here!!!

This is good pizza!!!

going to go live life with my family!!!

cleaning/oraganizing/purging

2009-08-27T13:52:00.002-05:00

the past few days I have spent really deep cleaning things I let go all summer to spend time with my kids...I have given away 6 bags of clothes. I have recycled a box of paper. I have finished all rooms except the master bedroom...tackling that Friday. Oh, and the computer desk needs cleaned off...i will do that on Tuesday.
Well, I think God knew ahead(ok, I know he did) that I needed to be organized because we are going to look for a house to move into. Our rent went up by $100 and so, we think now would be the time. Ok, Daniel has thought we needed to for a while, but I never was on board. I was/am scared to death. BIG TIME.
The girls have never lived anywhere else. The boys don't remember living any where else. They have never had a back yard. We have never been able to paint a room. There are many things to be excited about.
We will be searching. Please pray for us. We would love to stay in the school district we are in. I changed schools a lot when I was little and I don't want my children to have to do that!!
Well, i have laundry to fold. need to get that done before kids get out of school!!!

A new School year!!

2009-08-21T16:09:00.004-05:00

Well, the school year started this week. On Wednesday to be exact. I took pictures, but I needed a couple days to process it all. Strange I know. I was so excited to see them start, but really i miss them. I know the routine will be so good for all of us!

This is Gabi getting her back to school hair cut :o) as always, Hayley did a great job and she looks adorable....i didn't get pictures of anyone else, I was a bit busy corralling all of them!!

this is at open house the night before school started. Gabi was so nervous...again, no pictures of Dawson's class where we were doing a scavenger hunt and Daniel was in Logan's class.

This was the night before school. all items ready for school the next day!

On our way to school......

Here we go....only Piper will now be at home with Mommy-she will go to pre K on M/W/F and we will be home on Tuesdays and Thursdays we have BSF....

Not the best picture of me, but she all the sudden looked so big to me...I was having a hard time not breaking down and crying, but I knew if I did, she would lose it!

Look how much she looks like her daddy-

doing table work....

She chose her clothes on her own...I would have chosen a dress and bow, but I am trying to let her have control(to a point)of her clothes and such...She has received greens all week and has even been able to help her teacher every day!!! She is one of the tallest in her class, but I am not surprised with the growth she hit this summer

Sweet Gabi, I pray that you will blossom and shine your sweetness on those around you. You are amazing and anyone you come in contact with is so lucky to be around you. You have a zest for life that I hope you never lose. Keep learning and laughing sweet one.
Mommy loves you.

2009-08-21T11:18:00.003-05:00

oh, this is a funny story. We stopped at this gas station in Ocean Springs to gas up and change into our suits(I didn't think about the bath houses all being gone from the hurricane, so there were only porta potties on the beach). The boys went out to get their trunks from the van and were coming in and an RV was pulling around and they ran across the parking lot, well Dawson just kept running....right into this WET concrete!! I looked up from paying and he was standing there by that bucket just sobbing. He thought the man was going to yell at him and I was going to be mad because my flip flop(that he took over because he can now wear them)was stuck in there!!!!! Well, the man did not yell and we got the flip flop out and got him and the shoes all cleaned off and had a good laugh :o)

the next day...

2009-08-21T10:49:00.007-05:00

we went to Destin. now if you know me well, you know I don't love water, so when I saw the size of the waves that day, I was more than a bit panicked...but I put on a smile(I think)and we went on....
these are not in any real order, just some shots we got that day...

Notice that in the water, Piper is on my hip as she was not a super huge fan of the waves either! At one point, Gabi was on the boogie board and it went flying, she went under...I was scared, but she came up and wanted to do it again!!!
They all had a good time...Florida was great. We headed back to Mississippi and on Monday we did nothing, but hang out. Tuesday we headed home and Wed. we went to the pool, where, even after being washed, Daniels swim shirts still had seaweed in the pockets...LOL. It was a great vacation.

2009-08-21T09:22:00.009-05:00

We were very happy to see this sign :o)

this was a great welcome.....

We don't want to mess with swimsuits...

it was raining when we were ready to get on the boat, so Christie got out the snow cone make the keep the kids happy....
Daniel was getting the girls all ready to board the boat...

sitting on the boat, before the sun decided to come back out and it was a perfect day to be out on the water and find a private spot to spend the day....

Where the kids had a blast!!
a little sand boarding....

Corey helped to get the grill going and lunch cooked.

Piper was fixing a cold drink...

Gabi and Uncle Butch on the jet ski...she is her daddy's child, she loved it!!!

Just enjoying being out there....

I was trying to make a sand castle with her, but she wanted to go play in the water....

so, I sat and watched them all play for a bit

Then Dawson was doing some singing ;o)

this is what the little ones did on the way back....they were beat, but they did get a second wind.
This is Big bird, he was waiting to greet us at the dock.

Summer Vacation was GREAT!!!

2009-08-14T17:44:00.003-05:00

Monday-we got a late start because Daniel had to work late, so he was unhappy and the kids were going crazy to get out of here! We left and got on the road about 8:30ish. The drive was long, but the kids slept most of the way and that was nice. We did wake the ones who were sleeping when we were going over the Mississippi and Piper asked how many more inches until we got to Grammy and Paw Paws!!! We got a good laugh at that one. Shortly after, we stopped to get gas and have a potty break on the other side of Memphis(we had not yet stopped!!) We went into the store and used the potty and were getting drinks. I was filling one up and the attendant asked if I knew the man who had just been in. No, I told her. I had only really caught a glimpse of him. Then I asked if he did something or one of my kids was rude to him? Nope she said then I thought she was just trying to help me and carried the drinks over to the counter. When we put the rest on there, she said the man had paid for all our drinks and all we had to pay was the gas. He told her he had received a blessing and wanted to pass it on!!! I felt so bad and so blessed all at once. We loaded up , the kids went back to sleep and we headed on down the dark Mississippi high way. Daniel asked me to take over in Hattiesburg , so I did and we arrived in Picayune at about 8:15ish...less than 12 hours!!!
Tuesday-Once we arrived, we turned the kids over to Derek and Stephanie and went to sleep until about noon. We woke up and the kids had been fed and were playing. The rest of the day, we just chilled out at the house.
Wed-We went over to Christie and Corey's place and swam and ate lunch ;o) it was a lot of fun.

Thursday-we went to the coast. We decided to drive down the coast and see what it was looking like and to show the kids where we lived down there...that was fun, but made me miss it so much. This a shot of what they have done with the trees that were ripped apart during the hurricane-they have carved them into different animals, it is very neat...

Then we actually headed to the beach...the kids all had a blast, as did mom and dad. We had a Black Hawk fly over the beach and wave to the kids-very cool, but I was in the water, so I did not get a shot of it!
Friday we headed to Florida....I am going to separate the entries, so they are not to picture heavy....

before I go...

2009-08-03T19:16:00.000-05:00

I wanted to tell you all we are on our way to Picayune, Mississippi!!!
then we are heading to Florida to play on the beaches :o)
Excited about seeing family and getting away....

I will have many pictures to post when we get back...
Have a Great and Blessed week!!!

2009-08-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

sweet couple....

Swimmimg today

2009-07-31T21:24:00.002-05:00

was really nice and made me feel guilty all at the same time.
Let me explain.
Missy and I wanted to go and not be in the baby pool and just have some time to chat.
T came over to watch the 2 little girls and they were so excited because she was going to paint thier nails.
We went and it was a bit cool out and we sat and both of us, as we sat felt so guilty it was almost impossible to enjoy ourselves. We did in the end have a good time and the big kids loved that we sat near the diving board and they were able to show us dives(or what they called dives).LOL
We came home and the girls had a good time, so in the end all was well. It made me think that I like having all my kids with me. I know there are times I complain, but I do love all them with my heart and when they are all around me I am at my happiest(ok, most of the time...you know what I mean if you are a mom).
I need to download a ton of pictures, so I better scoot off here for now....
Have a great night.

getting ready to wrap it up

2009-07-30T14:43:00.003-05:00

Summer that is.
I can't believe it is almost over.
2 surgeries, starting braces, VBS, baseball, swimming
hanging out with friends,
starting the adoption process..
lots of tv/game watching
It has been very nice, but hard all at the same time.
Baseball went long because Dawson made the all star team
Logan was not eligible since he played up, but next year we hope.
Sammy is no longer on house arrest,
she did her community service.
We are leaving on vacation on Monday night.
Mississippi and Florida
we are all so excited.
beyond excited.
Trying to empty the pantry and fridge out.
Thinking about starting to pack, but not doing it!
School supplies are bought as well as new lunch bags.
I have cleaned out the boys closest.
Dawson went up yet another size this summer(since spring!!!)
Still need to get shoes when we come home from vacation, or on vacation...
Celebrated 11 sweet/hard wonderful years with my hubby...
I can't even imagine what other people do on the 11 year mark,
we played Animal Crossing and FarmTown on FB! exciting are we not???
Doing the Esther Bible Study by Beth Moore...
thinking it is changing my life more each day...
need to down load pictures and finsh up the baseball ones and deliver them...ugh
Mamma Mia is on....I really like this one....
spaghetti and meatballs in the crock pot...mmmm
the boys are not playing football..
happy and sad about that one.
We are planning some camping trips...
we have not done anything except football for 2 falls,
so we are going to enjoy time off this year,
we will go watch friends play when games are home :o)
I am going to go cuddle with the kids and maybe read some more of this good book.....

http://www.amazon.com/Mama-Goes-South-Were-Going/dp/0800757971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248984077&sr=1-1

No swimming??

2009-07-22T14:16:00.002-05:00

that is what Logan said today after his ear surgery. He was not happy and well, neither was mommy. He had to have a tube removed from his left ear that was stuck and when Dr Walker tried to get it out in the office, she had no luck. They had to give him some general anesthesia. She said even then it was tough to get out! But, I am praying that it will be the last time he has any ear surgeries!! He was scared to death, but is currently laying on the couch playing a video game...

VBS is this week. It always means a busy week, but it is so worth it to get to love on even the tiny babies who's mommies are working to teach children about God. 3 days down, 2 to go.

Piper had surgery last week to put 'shiny teeth' in her mouth. She had 8 caps placed on baby teeth that had some decay issues. She really just started eating again yesterday. I think a bit of it was attention, but I do know that it makes your mouth very sore. She even came out to Daddy this am and said, I even brushed my back teeth daddy!!!!! She was so proud.

I take Dawson to the orthodontist on Friday for his initial exam to see what all we need to have done. Not excited for that one, since I just paid out so much on Logan's surgery! At least the consult is free!!!!

Gabi turned 6 on the 14th! Where did the time go? She will be starting Kindergarten in a little under a month! It will only be Piper and I at home now. I remember taking a tiny Gabi to enroll Dawson in school....wow.

I hope to do better about blogging until vacation, but then I will take a hiatus since we don't yet have a lap top...very excited to see all the Mississippi family!!! Well, I think i am going to make him nap with me for a bit ;o)

summer

2009-06-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

is keeping me/us very busy. We have been away at summer youth camp this past week! I did find out I am going to be an aunt again...my newest SIL is having a baby! so happy for them!!!
I hope to really sit down and do a good post tonight after the girls go to bed and the boys are at baseball practice...
But, I will leave you with a funny story.
Piper spent the week at Missy's house with her and Tori while I was gone. They were playing dress up and they have those stick on ear rings(Tori's ears are not pierced). Piper comes out with a NOSE RING!!!! jUST LIKE HER MOMMY :O)
I love that girl!!!

Organizing & Meal Planning

2009-06-05T10:57:00.002-05:00

I am getting ready to rearrange the living room-again. I like to change things around. But this time, I have some plans for things on the walls, so I am really excited!

The other thing I am working on is my Control Journal for my home..
http://flylady.net/pages/cjmain.asp
I did find a really cool print out for grocery shopping here...
http://www.grocerylists.org/ultimatest/

Lot's of things that I want to get done, but my motivation is lacking, so I am going to get off the computer and just do the living room, maybe that will spur me on to get done some to the organizing..I feel like I do this a lot, but we have a lot of stuff in this little apartment, so it is a constant thing! Have a good Friday!!!

Learning..

2009-06-03T13:19:00.002-05:00

Sitting in the kitchen, doing my Bible study on Esther this morning. Gabi comes in with her sniffles, asking me to make her some Maltomeal, so I get up and am making it. She sits down at my Bible and starts talking about Moses and the commandments and well, the whole years worth of BSF. I just acted like I didn't hear her. Then, she picks up the Bible and says, "This is God's True Word children, right here is our verse for today in yellow, when I come to you, you can run your hand over the verse out of the Bible." and proceeds to walk about the kitchen to the 'children' in the chairs and even encourages them to touch. It was the sweetest moment.

I am so thankful for BSF and that God has allowed all of my children to be involved. What a blessing each of the children's leaders has been to us. Thank you to anyone, anywhere who is involved in BSF. The seeds being planted are too numerous to count. May God be glorified in your work.

sad day

2009-06-02T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is what Logan did after about an hour on opening day. His eardrum had ruptured on Thursday evening and he can't swim until this after we go to the doctor this Thursday. He said he would play in the little pool with the girls, but he got bored and at this point he was crying. I did tell the other 4 that we would not be going back to the pool until Logan could participate. It was so sad. I had much mommy guilt over this one. Please pray that we get a good report on Thursday from Dr Walker(whom we love!) I am ready to hit the pool hard and heavy!!!

Opening Day at the Pool!!!

2009-06-02T14:42:00.000-05:00

Daniel playing pool ball with the boys...

Piper in the 'baby' pool~I love the little pool, but we only have one more year!!

Sister's playing in the pool.